Parody Archives - Granite Grok

Bananas: The Science of Weak Tea

August 13, 2025August 13, 2025 Johnny Bananas (Fake News Reporter!)

“Spilling the tea” is parlance for dishing the dirt or, more simply, gossiping about others. This pastime of women everywhere carries with it both benefits and detriments. The Good Book warns us against gossiping for fear of spreading fake news (unless one does it professionally, of course) or unfairly ruining another’s reputation. However, some amount … Read more

liberal goes back in time to kill hitler screengrab

MacDonald: I Know You are, But What Am I?

July 27, 2025July 27, 2025 Steve MacDonald

One of the few things Democrat leadership is good at teaching its cult members is projection. If a Democrat says it, or accuses you of it, or tries to sue you or impeach you, they are doing it, have done it, or are about to. It is no accident that the people who went after … Read more

Bananas: Canada to Be Renamed Gay Wisconsin

February 20, 2025 Johnny Bananas (Fake News Reporter!)

The Trump administration’s recent announcement of tariffs on Canadian products had the ninnies to the north all in a tizzy as the United States ice hockey team took the Canadian national team out to the woodshed recently while in Montreal. Despite a polite warning from the announcer to respect one another’s national anthems the Canadian … Read more

BANANAS EXCLUSIVE: NY Takes Down Illegally Housed Terrorist P’nut the Squirrel

November 5, 2024 Johnny Bananas (Fake News Reporter!)

With crime in New York City exploding back to pre-Guiliani era numbers the boys in blue and cammo have been under the gun for some time as citizens have grown restless waiting for some law and order. Thankfully the opportunity came knocking like a 2 a.m. SWAT team ready to pounce. Known fugitive and domestic … Read more

Bananas: Harris October Surprise Is Her New Book “My Plan”

November 4, 2024 Johnny Bananas (Fake News Reporter!)

October has many lovely surprises during an election year, but what better way to have an October surprise than in November? We can all look back fondly when Richard Nixon surprised himself with multiple counts of impeachment for breaking into Waterworld with his henchmen and skinny dipping on the rides. Then there was the time … Read more

Bananas: Sean ‘Puff Daddy’ Combs Receives Epstein Lifetime Achievement Award

October 4, 2024 Johnny Bananas (Fake News Reporter!)

(Warning: Links may contain adult content you should have known about long before now.) Shocking news comes out of Hollywood this past week as Sean “Puff Daddy” Combs was arrested for all of the things Hollywood glorifies in its movies. After being apprehended in a hotel in downtown New York Combs was placed into the … Read more

Bananas: The Cat’s Out of the Bag

September 20, 2024 Johnny Bananas (Fake News Reporter!)

The long awaited Disney production of Kamala Harris vs. Donald Trump finally hit the tiny screen on Wednesday as a nation of non-binary idiots gazed into their surveillance devices waiting to be told by millionaires which binary choice will be taking their money for the next four years. The quality of the production was top … Read more

Will Gov Nuisance’ New Law Get Every Dem PAC In California Charged With a Crime?

September 19, 2024 Steve MacDonald

Gov. Nuisance has made it illegal in California to knowingly distribute “an ad or other election communications that contain materially deceptive content.” This will result in lawsuits, not just because much of what Gavin’s water carriers put out there would violate his law. It is unconstitutional, so there’s that, but I get it. The technology … Read more

“Kamala Safe And In Stable Condition After Attempted Interview”

September 16, 2024 Steve MacDonald

The Babylon Bee strikes again. PHILADELPHIA, PA — Americans across the country breathed a sigh of relief this morning following breaking news that Vice President Kamala Harris had survived an attempted interview. The incident took place late yesterday afternoon during a campaign stop in Pennsylvania when a rogue reporter reportedly approached the vice president and … Read more

Night Cap – Banana’s: Third Semi-Annual Vegas Odds on the ANTI-CHRIST!

March 24, 2024 Johnny Bananas (Fake News Reporter!)

March Madness is back again, reminding us it’s time for this year’s VEGAS ODD ON THE ANTI-CHRIST! As the world gets crazier than a rainbow flag at a Hamas rally, we turn our sights to the coming of the lawless one prophecied in holy writ.

Has New Scientist Magazine Discovered a Solution to the Border/Migrant ‘Crisis’ – Cannibalism!

February 27, 2024 Auntie Vaquser

As the cradle of American Liberty (Massachusetts) prepares to force its citizens to house illegals (you should start that in Lexington and Concord and see if they remember their history), New Scientist Magazine is floating a trial balloon that might solve two problems simultaneously.

Bananas: Feminists Struggle To Decide On Fifth Wave of Movement … and Dinner

February 7, 2024 Johnny Bananas (Fake News Reporter!)

The International Fraternity of Feminists (IFF) meeting took place at the lovely Brettonwoods resort earlier this month, and these little ladies have a lot to bitch about, it seems.

Klaus Schwab Vaxxmas Hits!

December 20, 2023 Steve MacDonald

From the World Enslavement Forum, it’s Klaus ‘The Situation’ Scwab and Vaxxmas Hits! Listen to all your favorite Globalist Seasonal Classics while you enjoy a holiday feast of mealworms and crunchy crickets!

Bananas: VT Sex-Work Legislators Put Money Where Mouths Are

November 16, 2023 Johnny Bananas (Fake News Reporter!)

A recent decision by Planned Parenthood New England to shut down four of its Vermont clinics has many lawmakers in Montpelier ready to hop into the sack to save them.

Let’s Poke Fun at People Wearing Masks …

September 24, 2023 Steve MacDonald

Yesterday’s preschool apprentice was a riot, and we’ve got more funny for you today – this time tinged with a bit of irony. A parody on mandatory masking, which – as we get closer to 2024 – could be coming soon to a fearmongering community near you (conspiracy theory!).