Mysterious Folder Conundrum - Granite Grok

Mysterious Folder Conundrum

Love Birds

Suppose you fall in love with someone who is good looking, well groomed, and has lots of potential.  Let’s say you two lovebirds decide to get married.  Giddiness and joy all around…congratulations.

One day, you are at the supermarket, casually buying grapes (so you can feed them to your love, like they do in the old-timey movies), when a shadowy person comes up behind you and hands you a sealed folder.  The mystery person whispers in your ear and says…

…”in this folder, there is list of things that your love did some time ago, before you knew each other, which you should know about.  Some of these things are, honestly, not so impressive, and a few are, well, quite embarrassing and belie the very image that has been presented to you.”  The mystery person then scoots away, leaving you, and the folder, all alone in aisle-8.

Do you look in the folder?  Of course you do!  You are about to seriously commit yourself to someone, are presented with information of such importance that it could change the entire nature of your relationship, and you throw it away?  You never throw that type of information away.

Unless you are afflicted with Unconditional Candidate Love (UCL).

“UCL” is a known, recessive mutation in humans, particularly Conservatives, which causes the patient to ignore all the bad stuff “their” candidate did before they were “their” candidate.  In more extreme cases, it causes the victim to completely ignore bad things their candidate does, right in front of their face, well after they’ve fallen in love with each other.  In epidemic scale, this affliction can wipe out an entire political party in about 12 years.

The real question is – how do you use this information?

One: You can abandon your candidate immediately, and search for a new “love”.  Or, two: in the unfortunately common viral strain of this disease, known as “anybodybutitis“, you stick with your potentially-flawed candidate, through-and-through, sometimes becoming an enabler.  If not caught early enough, patients with “anybodybutitis” are guaranteed to lose (or ignore) the folder and all the bad stuff.  If caught early, patients have the ability to keep the knowledge of this semi-sordid past in the back of their minds, or in a locked safe, mentally prepared for the day when their loved one pulls the same shenanigans on them.

Jane, from the NHTPC, is handing you the folder, courtesy of Lew Rockwell (congrats on the posting, Jane).  What do you do with it?

The “love of your life” is Paul Ryan.  Let’s go into this relationship with an open mind, and not that of a giddy school boy/girl crush, shall we?

HT: Jane, Lew Rockwell