News – Politics – Opinion – Podcasts
Johnny Bananas (Fake News Reporter!) A recent spate of mass plant and animal suicides is rocking the globe.
The number of food processing plants experiencing such disasters appears to be high, but In the U.S. there were approximately 1,410 warehouse (not just food processing) fires per year between 2014 and 2019.
2022 is a year that will be as difficult to remember as it was unforgettable. Day after day and week after week this crazy trip around the sun seemed to one-up itself with news of the absurd at a dizzying pace.
Despite what many are calling a World Cup with an ending so epic not even Hollywood could have made it up, the world of soccer has been rocked by its own Hollywood-esque #metoo scandal.
After watching their quarterly earnings drop for a seventh consecutive time the masters of programming at Disney believe they have just the venture to overturn their capsizing business. Seizing on the spot soon to be vacated by a failing CNN network that can barely pull five hundred thousand viewers for their prime time programming, Disney … Read more
Reports coming from the North Pole anticipate a long Dark Winter for most of the world’s population this Christmas thanks largely to a recent spike in names added to the naughty list. “We usually have a pretty substantial list thanks to China but this year it’s off the charts” commented List Master Steve Keebler. Our … Read more
The devastating rise in the national suicide level has caught the attention of the Clinton Foundation. One look at the numbers and it’s obvious – it is an epidemic. Last year suicide was the number two cause of death amongst Americans aged 25-34.
Catastrophic Climate Change is happening all around the world and the executives at Pfizer believe they have the cure. A new Climate Change Vaccine (CCV) has been developed and is currently being tested on unsuspecting people throughout the continents of Europe, Asia, Africa, North America, South America, West America, and some islands. “It’s getting really … Read more
When I heard the news about the horrific tool-related attack on Paul Pelosi the other day I immediately smelled a rat and knew something wasn’t right. So I did some investigating and as I suspected… The man is first of all white and male, which means there is a nearly 100% chance he is a … Read more
The Randolph (Girls) Volleyball team was stripped of its titles dating all the way back to 1897 this week by the Vermont Athletic Group on Diversity, Inclusion, and Equity. After winning this year’s state championship the all-white, all-girls, all-Randolph Volleyball team was cited for athletic racism and lack of diversity. The team raised international fake … Read more
Vermont Secretary of State Jim Condos has been looking at the data and crunching the numbers and is excited about this year’s mid-term elections. “We’re ready to take the top spot” beams a confident Condos. Which spot is that? According to a Heritage Foundation Election Integrity Scorecard Vermont currently ranks 47 out of 51 states … Read more
A spokesman for the Underworld Safety Council took the podium in Hades earlier this week to explain to an eager press corps why they have begun construction on a new border wall.
Following the success of their feature film hits Run, Hide, Fight and the Shut In, the crew at the Daily Wire have their sites set on Halloween. Though conservative horror films are a relatively new genre they are confident there is a viewing audience awaiting their latest offerings.
After Conquering Twitter, Elon Musk Set To Invade Facebook
The world of social media geopolitics is undergoing a shift of apocalyptic proportions.
After receiving loads of migrants and the criticism for having them deported with military force, the residents of Martha’s Vineyard are extending a cilantro branch to the Latino community by having a Home Depot franchise built at the entry point to the exclusive island. On behalf of the residents, the elite island spokesperson Bunny Tisbury … Read more
I could hardly believe the news this past weekend when I learned that British nobility, Her Royal Majesty Elton John, had passed away. While on tour in Australia, the queen was attacked by a crocodile, tripped, and fell trying to escape only to plummet headlong into a rock. The irony of it all was not … Read more
Science Retires In a somewhat shocking announcement, Science has retired from public service. After several years of receiving harsh criticism and being hard to follow, Science has decided it’s had enough in serving the public. Fans of Science are shocked with many turning to chemistry to cope while others are putting their faith in quasi-scientific … Read more
Concord State House To Build First Totally Inclusive 152 Bathroom Multiplex A close third on the priority list for the Biden Administration, behind Ukrainians and illegal immigrants, is the ++ community. These are people so confused by math and science they cannot identify with a long-established biological binary. Rather than waste precious hours teaching them … Read more
Hollywood Updates Insensitive Movie Titles Hollywood is usually the first to speak up for the rights of the underprivileged, who also happen to never live in Hollywood. The Screen Actors Guild along with the Harvey Weinstein Foundation have teamed up to bring classic movie titles, once perfectly acceptable in lights on the marquee, into the … Read more
In a shocking turn of events, the Federal Bureau of Investigation conducted a surprise raid on the 45th President of the United States Donald Trump’s Mar-a-Lago estate. The heavily armed agents were said to have conducted the raid with a warrant issued by the former Epstein attorney turned Judge. The federal agents are in search … Read more
Yesterday’s VDC article covered the speech given by Vermont Senator and Ultra-mega Socialist Bernie “Uncle Bern” Sanders. Citing a variety of national polls comrade Sanders expressed concern over the following: Gallup poll – the approval rating for Congress is at 16% with massive numbers of people disapproving of the work we are doing here. University … Read more