Obama’s New Rules For Golf

Obama Golf czar introduces new rules(I received this in my email this morning.  It’s a bit clunky but you’ll get the point.)

President Obama’s new Golf Czar has announced that Major rule changes in the game of golf will become effective December 1,  2012.

The new rule book, estimated to weigh in at roughly 2716 pages is still being crafted but here are a few initial guidelines to go by.

Golfers  with handicaps:

– Below 10 will have their green fees increased by 35%.
– Between 11 and 18 will see no increase in green fees.
– Above 18 will get a $20 check each time they play.
The term  “gimmie” will be changed to “entitlement” and will be used as follows:

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Humor – A wish to understand women (small bit of humor (sorta sideways))

Look, all of we political junkies are on the veritable edge – worse than a druggie looking for that next fix or the gambler looking for that elusive royal flush.  It is both the best of times (“NOW it all comes to an end”) and the worst of times (“NOW it all comes to an end”) for this (here in NH) two year process.  So, time for a bit of a joke – so, since we at the ‘Grok have now riled up the Democrat Socialists / Progressives, always have the Establishment RINOS ticked off, and now have torqued off a lot of the Libertarians, who else can we get mad at us?

Oh yeah – Feminists!  From Maggie’s Farm:

A man on his Harley was riding along a California beach when suddenly the sky clouded above his head and, in a booming voice, God said, ‘because you have tried to be faithful to me in all ways, I will grant you one wish.’

The biker pulled over and said, ‘Build a bridge to Hawaii so I can ride over anytime I want.’

God replied, ‘Your request is materialistic; think of the enormous challenges for that kind of undertaking; the supports required reaching the bottom of the Pacific and the concrete and steel it would take! I can do it, but it is hard for me to justify your desire for worldly things. Take a little more time and think of something that could possibly help mankind.’

The biker thought about it for a long time. Finally, he said, ‘God, I wish that I, and all men, could understand women; I want to know how she feels inside, what she’s thinking when she gives me the silent treatment, why she cries, what she means when she says nothing’s wrong, why she snaps and complains when I try to help, and how I can make a woman truly happy.

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Is Juan Valdez The Anti Christ?

Is Juan Valdez The Evil One?

(Repost: Originally posted Aug 17th, 2010 – What can I say, I like this one.)

I started drinking coffee at the age of six, not because my parents were irresponsible—they were in fact better people than I can ever hope to become—but because I spent an unusual amount of time in the company of coffee drinkers.  Both of my parents were recovering Alcoholics, (You are always recovering by the way) and both committed large portions of their lives to helping others cope with their disease.

Back in the 60’s and 70’s AA meetings had two very distinctive elements: cigarette smoke as thick as a London fog and coffee brewed endlessly in the largest attainable brewing device within driving distance.  While I am sure that the pall of smoke has today been relegated to a nearby alcove or outdoor “designated” smoking area, I suspect the coffee still runs like the bulls at Pamplona—every day of the year.  And apparently, the best way to fend off the contact buzz from the Stygian gloom of a nicotine cloud is to drink coffee in tiny foam cups with red plastic stirs that poke your fore-head as you try to slurp up the coffee flavored sugar ooze in the bottom.

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A New Disney Princess…?

Having posted this story this earlier today about Disney taking over Lucasfilm and the Star Wars Franchise, I had to post this.  Disney’s War on Women–let’s go Leia, you need a 9 inch waist, now!

The Mainstream Media….

Mainstream media lies....

A Harley biker rode by the zoo in Washington, DC and saw a little girl leaning into the lion’s cage. Suddenly, the lion grabbed her by her jacket and tried to pull her inside as her parents screamed. The biker jumped off his Harley, ran to the cage and punched the lion on his sensitive nose. Whimpering from pain the lion let go of the girl. The biker took the girl back to her terrified parents. A reporter saw the whole thing and says to the biker, “This was the bravest thing I’ve seen in my life. I’m a journalist, and tomorrow’s paper will have this story on the front page. What do you do for a living and what’s your political party?” The biker replies “I’m a U.S. Marine and a Republican.” The next day’s Washington Post headline:

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I want to know…

….if you can look at THIS SET OF PICTURES on the Internet, and not laugh out loud. That’s right. I said “out loud.” Go on. Look at ’em. Then tell me. Here’s an example:

Piffile! Tim, here’s a BETTER way!

To let speeding scofflaws learn the meaning of the phrase “long arm of the Law”, ya need one of these, Tim! That’s right – a Boeing 747 equipped with its very own Eye Of Sauron nose cone laser! Unlike that itty bitty whirlybird, folks screaming on the roads will never, ever see this coming (or … Read more

On the lighter side: this child is a Numerologist’s delight!

From CNSNews comes this: The Des Moines Register reports  that Laila Fitzgerald weighed 8 pounds, 9 ounces when she was born. She came into the world on Thursday, which, numerically speaking, was 10/11/12. She arrived, militarily speaking, at 1314, which would be 1:14 p.m. for civilians. So the numbers associated with her birth are 8-9-10-11-12-13-14. … Read more

How to start a Fight – Part 10

Saturday morning I got up early, quietly dressed, made my lunch, and slipped quietly into the garage. I hooked up the boat up to the van and proceeded to back out into a torrential downpour. The wind was blowing 50mph, so I pulled back into the garage, turned on the radio, and discovered that the … Read more

How to start a Fight – Part 9

After retiring, I went to the Social Security office to apply for Social Security. The woman behind the counter asked me for my driver’s License to verify my age. I looked in my pockets and realized I had left my wallet at home. I told the woman that I was very sorry, but I would … Read more

How to start a Fight – Part 8

My wife and I were watching Who Wants To Be A Millionaire while we were in bed. I turned to her and said, ‘Do you want to……?’ ‘No,’ she answered. I then said, ‘Is that your final answer?’ She didn’t even look at me this time, simply saying, ‘Yes..’ So I said, “Then I’d like … Read more

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