Humor with a lesson: Where would you rather be: California or Texas?

by Skip

CALIFORNIA:  The Governor of California is jogging with his dog along a nature trail. A coyote jumps out and attacks the Governor’s dog, then bites the Governor.

 1. The Governor starts to intervene, but reflects upon the movie “Bambi” and then realizes he should stop because the coyote is only doing what is natural.

2. He calls animal control. Animal Control captures the coyote and bills the State $200 testing it for diseases and $500 for relocating it.

3. He calls a veterinarian. The vet collects the dead dog and bills the State $200 testing it for diseases.

4. The Governor goes to a hospital and spends $3,500 getting checked for diseases from the coyote and getting his bite wound bandaged.

5. The running trail gets shut down for 6 months while the Fish & Game Commission conducts a $100,000 survey to make sure the area is now free of dangerous      animals.

6. The Governor spends $50,000 in state funds implementing a “coyote awareness program” for residents of the area.

7. The State Legislature spends $2 million to study how to better treat rabies and how to permanently eradicate the disease throughout the world.

8. The Governor’s security agent is fired for not stopping the attack. The State spends $150,000 to hire and train a new agent with additional special training re: the nature of coyotes.

9. PETA protests the coyote’s relocation and files a $5 million suit against the State.

 TEXAS:   The Governor of Texas is jogging with his dog along a nature trail. A coyote jumps out and attacks his dog.

1. The Governor shoots the coyote with his state-issued pistol and keeps jogging.

2. The Governor has spent $0.50 on a .45 ACP hollow point cartridge.

3. The buzzards eat the dead coyote.

And that, my friends, is why California is broke and Texas is not.

(H/T: Sue)

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Lesson Progressive: The Progressive model and solution is to throw more and more Government at a problem, at ever and ever more escalating costs.  Each time, more and more people must be involved and time frames elongate further and further.  Government believes that the public doesn’t “understand” the danger that is around them, and creates a PR and marketing program to educate low-information (assumed to be low-awareness and low-intelligence (coyote is not a dog – DANGER!)) at the level of a child with a final solution of that results in “Government – help me!”.  It is not “Yo, Guv?  Don’t run there”.

Lesson: Rugged Individualism: See Danger.  Resolve problem immediately by taking personal action.  Continue on with normal life.

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  • allen

    uh..skip should that be “personal” or “individual” action, not “personnel”?

    allen,

    • granitegrok

      Oops – corrected; thanks!

  • http://granitegrok.com/author/mike Mike Rogers

    I think there’s actually a real story involving Rick Perry, and I believe “W” was always prepared when out on the trail. No wonder Texas is looking attractive to migrants from California and Chicago!

  • http://granitegrok.com/author/mike Mike Rogers

    Oh, and “California, a nice place to be FROM”.

  • Van

    Fantastic comparison!!!

  • nhsteve

    The real Lesson of this story: Progressives will ignore everything else and focus on the one cartridge needed to dispatch the coyote and use that to justify federal limits on the number of rounds in a magazine.

    You know I’m right.

    • granitegrok

      You’re wrong – they’ll concentrate on the lead dust polluting the whole of the West from one bullet and that the Coyote should be on the Endangered List so put all your garbage curbside to make it easier for them to graze (just keep the salt out of YOUR food so as to keep Coyotes “heart healthy”).

      • coati-boy

        Or they’ll point out that coyotes simply don’t do that.

  • Chris P. Bacon

    In AZ the coyote always just runs off the side of the canyon cliff, pausing in mid air for a second before plunging to his death in a cloud of dust.

    cpb- ACME salesman

    • coati-boy

      If you ACME salesmen would just stop irresponsibly extending his credit, maybe he’d give up by now!

      • Chris P. Bacon

        Hey everyone, it’s Sir Coati from Tree Huggies!! Good to see you pal. Good of you to visit. Having big fun over here at GG. Let me give you a basic rundown. Obama-bad, guns-good, abortion-bad, Obama -bad, uhm…..did i say Obama-bad? Oh yah, guns good.

        • coati-boy

          Ha! I noticed – you forgot tree huggers-marxist/socialist/communist. We really need you over there!

          • Chris P. Bacon

            i wish i could figuere out a way to. I have tried to contact the inventor of the internets for some advice on how to get a new identity and make it back on, but he was at a Golden Corral and couldn’t talk.
            cpb- missing Marx Brothers pals at Tree Huggies

          • coati-boy

            Al Gore eats at the Golden Corral?

          • Chris P. Bacon

            It’s Al Gored, and he eats the Golden Corral. See, that’s not nice, and on top of that, the golden Corral might be a South West kinda thing, and most Groksters are from New Hamsterdam. You may of heard of it. “Live Free Or Die” is the state lotto. It has a sister state that was made when God didn’t like the ideer of a rectangular state called New Vermont, and busted it in half.

          • coati-boy

            It probably isn’t an east coast thing, huh? The folks in Silver City, NM, call it “The Feeding Trough” – no Gore sightings there, either

          • C. dog e. doG

            That’s over the Green Monster kinda stuff, there, Crispy.
            – C. dog

        • granitegrok

          Progressives policies bad – regressive actually. Abrogating the Bill of Rights, Constitution, Declaration of Independence philosophy – bad.

          Nice to see you here, sir!

      • Chris P. Bacon

        Oh yeah, and it’s very family friendly so you can’t say something like “scrotum”, but if you are a little more tactful and say “dual chambered protuberance of skin and muscle” that would be alright. I also think “tit” is ok, as long as it is followed by “for tat”, although i do think there is a double standard for GG’s favorite, C DOG, as i saw him get away with “nipple” the other day.
        cpb- never anyone’s favorite.

        • granitegrok

          Hey, I can’t catch EVERYTHING sir – I TRY to be consistent to Rule #1 (about the only one the ‘Grok has) but I am a fallen creature and have the attendant failings…..

          • Chris P. Bacon

            Well maybe hire a new attendant and get one of those transmitters to hang around ur neck when you fall :)

          • granitegrok

            heh!

          • C. dog e. doG

            Crispy can be a bit of a sourpuss when he can’t use naughty words to describe one’s naughty bits now and then. Unfortunately for the both of us, it’s right smack dab in the middle of our wheelhouse. I think he needs to go to Big Sandy, AZ and shoot off some steam.
            – C. dog more relaxed after winter sport in virgin powdah

  • C. dog e. doG

    Feed the endangered California coyote: wrap Governator Moonbeam in bacon, and send him into Canyon Lands. Then call an official for sum help on 911 so they can clean up the mess.
    – C. dog don’t cotton to self-help initiatives

    • granitegrok

      Bacon make EVERYTHING taste better!

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