Humor – Coincidences

A chicken farmer went to the local bar. He sat next to a woman and ordered champagne.  The woman said, “How strange, I also just ordered a glass of champagne.”  “What a coincidence,” said the farmer, who added, “It is a special day for me. I’m celebrating.”  “It is a special day for me too, I am also celebrating!” said the woman.

“What a coincidence.” said the farmer.

While they toasted, the farmer asked, “What are you celebrating?”   “My husband and I have been trying to have a child for years, and today, my gynecologist told me that I was pregnant.”  “What a coincidence,” said the man. “I am a chicken farmer and for years all my hens were infertile, but now they are all set to lay fertilized eggs.”   “This is awesome,” said the woman. “What did you do for your chickens to become fertile?”

“I used a different rooster,” he said.  The woman smiled and said

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Obamacare Humor (or is it?)

The phone rings and the lady of the house answers, “Hello.” … ”Mrs. Sanders, please.” ”Speaking.” ‘Mrs.. Sanders, this is Doctor Jones at Saint Agnes Laboratory. When your husband’s doctor sent his biopsy to the lab last week, a biopsy from another Mr. Sanders arrived as well. We are now uncertain which one belongs to … Read more

Pretty much how I feel today

And yesterday….hopefully not tomorrow.  Yes, the gifts that grandkids “share” with you – colds… (H/T: The Chive)

You might be a Democrat if:

Heh!  I love it when the Democrat definition of “Consistency” is spotlighted: You might be a Democrat if you believe… Fighting against government-subsidized contraceptives constitutes a “war on women,” but when Islamists stone a woman to death because she was raped, it is just “cultural differences.” Fighting against government-subsidized contraceptives constitutes a “war on women,” … Read more

A bad day for Hitler…

…he finds out  that, thanks to Obama, he can’t get a short-barrel AR-15 OR a .45 automatic. Damn. http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_detailpage&v=NhbV06V1yQo

Too good not to share: Call to 911 by home intruder: “I just broke into someone’s house….”

Intruder to police on 911: “I’m taking a shower and the owner came home….” Homeowner to intruder (through door): “Why are you in my house taking a shower?” Intruder to police on 911: “I think they have guns…” Homeowner to intruder (through door): “I’m calling the police.” Intruder to homeowner (through door): “I already have. … Read more

Look Who Called Looking for Me…

  Not as menacing as it looks…I believe this is the Big Brother Big Sister Foundation of Greater Boston.  But I thought it was funny how it came up on ID so I figured I’d share it. (Click to enhance)

Mule Trading

Dead Mule

Curtis & Leroy saw an ad in the Starkville Daily in Starkville , MS. and bought a mule for $100.

The farmer agreed to deliver the mule the next day.

The next morning the farmer drove up and said,”Sorry, fellows, I have some bad news, the mule died last night.”

Curtis & Leroy replied,”Well, then just give us our money back.”

The farmer said,”Can’t do that. I went and spent it already.”

They said, “OK then, just bring us the dead mule.”

The farmer asked, “What in the world ya’ll gonna do with a dead mule?”

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