We’ve all heard the term, closure. It refers to a psychological resolution to a problem or an issue that allows a person to “move past” that problem or issue. We use various terms to show how closure is achieved: the “5 stages of grief”, complete recovery from alcoholism or drug dependency, etc.
Related: Politicking by Nashua North and South High School Principals
Closure requires some kind of action to move the person from life-damaging ambiguity to life-affirming strength. In alcohol treatment, closure is achieved with awarding of AA’s first year’s coin. In grief, closure is achieved when the person can finally openly accept the loss in front of others. But in all cases, closure requires the involvement of others as “proof” of achievement.
As adults, we seem to forget what it’s like to be a teenager. Even if you say “I remember,” you don’t – not if you’re over 30. Your life has changed and you’ve been out of high school for too long. You don’t fully remember the jealousies, competition, challenges, and “drama” you experienced in High School. There may be some specific events that are forever etched in your memory, but the rest is mostly a blur.
For teenagers, High School is the “mouse race” that prepares them for the “rat race”.
But we forget that every race has a finish line. And every competitor in the race is recognized for having been in the race. Yes, there is personal satisfaction in having run the race. But true closure is achieved when others see you in your running gear and congratulate you for taking part in the race. Once again, closure requires the involvement of others.
We, adults, have forgotten the hard work that goes into studying night after night and the competition against others in the chase for grades and acceptance. We reward that work with a document that recognizes the achievement of meeting the goals of the race and crossing the finish line to graduate from High School. It’s called a Diploma.
One of the most important ceremonies of a teenager’s life – yes, the entire life of a teenager – is the High School graduation ceremony. It is how we, as parents, show our pride at the completion of the studies to achieve that goal. It is how teenagers are able to show each other that they graduated. And it gives teenagers an identity: they are now the “class of” that year. The proof of this importance is easy to demonstrate: why do so many High School drop-outs return to earn their GED and take part in a graduation ceremony?
But not in Nashua. Not in 2020, anyway.
Instead, our school administration and Board of Education have decided that the High School Class of 2020 should not be publicly recognized for their achievement. They decided that no closure was necessary. “They’ll survive – we’ll just do it next year. After all, there’s a virus going around and we don’t want anyone to get sick. We’ll do the 2020 graduation in 2021.”
Because all the teenagers will still be here. Because no students will have left the area in pursuit of their dreams. Because they’ll all make arrangements to return even if they have left the area.
Ok. Let’s put this aside. After all, it’s just a graduation ceremony – right?
The school administration and the Board of Education may have forgotten some possible far-reaching issues that they didn’t consider. The current HS senior may be the only child in a family who did not “march,” thus setting up sibling rivalry that may never be resolved. Or maybe the first child in a family, native or immigrant, to graduate from high school. Or maybe a child in other circumstances where the HS graduation ceremony would have had an unusual special meaning or purpose.
When this is discussed in online forums, there are some “adults” who feel that we should ask the High School graduates what they want, as if many of these teenagers have the ability to make a decision today that they’ll be looking back on in 20 years. Those “adults” seem to forget that, as teenagers, they may have made some decisions that they now regret and would have changed if they had a chance. Some may be reacting from jealousy.
There’s also the “they’ll get sick” faction who are being overprotective of the medically strongest and healthiest members of our society. There are medical exceptions, of course, but those exceptions prove the rule. Kids are stronger than the adults around them. Adults tend to forget that. Look at how teens wear shorts and t-shirts in the middle of winter without getting sick – then tell me that they can’t survive Covid-19.
Nashua shouldn’t shortchange its High School Class of 2020 by refusing to provide the “closure” of a High School graduation ceremony. To do so would be to damage the self-esteem of many of those students, and could further stigmatize others.
The Nashua High School Class of 2020 has already missed a “senior trip” and the senior prom.
Let’s at least provide these graduates their closure. Let’s give them the life-affirming celebration of their achievement.
Let’s give them a graduation ceremony.
