You just don’t understand…

No, it’s the DEMOCRATS that don’t understand. They might be the majority party, but they don’t represent majority values. Used with the artist’s permission, this pretty much sums up NH’s future if we allow the current "leaders" to have it their way: Bathroom Bill Loophole by D Rano [H/T NH Insider]

Hurry up… reservations are filling fast.

A new draw for tourism here in the Granite State has just been announced… Memorandum posted on the 3rd floor Ladies Room in the NH Statehouse FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE: Luxurious Third Floor  Restroom Opened for Tours Due to intense media and public interest, the third floor women’s restroom in New Hampshire’s State House will open … Read more

Poor Bud… What’s a liberal Democrat gotta do to get any respect around here?

      Used with permission of it’s creator, D.Rano. You can view more of his work here at NH Insider. It’s uncanny, really, how he’s captured District 3 Senate candidate "Bathroom Bud’s" Ted Kennedyesque features. He looks just like him, and, more importantly, he’ll vote just like him. Let’s leave the buffoons to Massachusetts… … Read more

Friday [not so] humor: This isn’t your grandfather’s high school

Diploma

HIGH SCHOOL – – 1957 vs. 2008

Scenario 1: 
Jack goes quail hunting before school and then pulls into the school parking lot with his shotgun in his truck’s gun rack.

1957 – Vice Principal comes over, looks at Jack’s shotgun, goes to his car and gets his shotgun to show Jack.
2008 – School goes into lock down, FBI called, Jack hauled off to jail and never sees his truck or gun again. Counselors called in for traumatized students and teachers. 

Scenario 2:
Johnny and Mark get into a fist fight after school.

1957 – Crowd gathers. Mark wins. Johnny and Mark shake hands and end up buddies.
2008 – Police called and SWAT team arrives — they arrest both Johnny and Mark. They are both charged them with assault and both expelled even though Johnny started it.
 
Scenario 3:
Jeffrey will not be still in class, he disrupts other students.

1957 – Jeffrey sent to the Principal’s office and given a good paddling by the Principal. He then returns to class, sit s still and does not disrupt class again.
2008 – Jeffrey is given huge doses of Ritalin. He becomes a zombie. He is then tested for ADD. The school gets extra money from the state because Jeffrey has a disability. 
 
Scenario 4:
Billy breaks a window in his neighbor’s car and his Dad gives him a whipping with his belt.

1957 – Billy is more careful next time, grows up normal, goes to college and becomes a successful businessman.
2008 – Billy’s dad is arrested for child abuse. Billy is removed to foster care and joins a gang. The state psychologist is told by Billy’s sister that she remembers being abuse d herself and their dad goes to prison. Billy’s mom has an affair with the psychologist.  
 
Scenario 5:
Mark gets a headache and takes some aspirin to school.

 

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Friday Humor: Eliminate the middle man…

I recently asked my friend’s little girl what she wanted to be when she grows up. She said she wanted to be President someday. Both of her parents, liberal Democrats, were standing there, so I asked her, ‘If you were President what would be the first thing you would do?’ She replied, ‘I’d give food … Read more

Friday Humor: Tea Time for Daddy

One day my mother was out and my dad was in charge of me. I was maybe 2 1/2 years old. Someone had given me a little ‘tea set’ as a gift and it was one of my favorite toys. Daddy was in the living room engrossed in the evening news when I brought Daddy … Read more

Humor: Horse sense…

Young Chuck in Montana  bought a horse from a farmer for $100. The farmer agreed to  deliver the horse the next day. The next day he drove up  and said, "Sorry son, but I have some bad news, the horse  died." Chuck replied, "Well, then just give me my money  back." The farmer said, "Can’t … Read more

Friday humor… Crocodile Tales. But do they get heartburn?

Two Crocodiles were sitting at the side of the swamp near the lake.   The smaller one turned to the bigger one and said, ‘I can’t understand how   you can be so much bigger than me. We’re the same age; we were the same size as kids. I just don’t get it.’ ‘Well,’ said the big Croc, … Read more

No glove, no [government] love…

I have never been as mixed about anything in politics as I am towards the bailout. Good people I trust say it’s necessary. Good people I trust say it’s bad. I guess I just don’t really know enough to make an informed decision one way or another, although my business is booked with work, my banker … Read more

Friday Humor: 4 times lucky?

A woman married three times walked into a bridal shop one day and told the sales clerk that she was looking for a wedding gown for her fourth wedding. Of course, madam,’ replied the sales clerk, ‘exactly what type and color dress are you looking for?’ The bride to be said: ‘A long frilly white … Read more

Want some fries with that?

I’m wondering if this story is something that could only happen in Maine, and/or if it’s a new twist on the "will work strip for food" offer… GREENVILLE, Maine (AP) _ The Skinny Dip sandwich at Greenville’s Black Frog Restaurant is free for customers willing to plunge naked from the restaurant into Moosehead Lake. But … Read more

I almost busted a n_t when I clicked the link…

  What more can you say about the Jesse Jackson story? To me, it has all the makings of the Janet Jackson "wardrode malfunction." You know- an act that thrusts an otherwise long time unheard-from, publicity-addicted has-been back to center stage one more time. Go here to this Van Helsing post at RightWingNews for the theory, and … Read more

Least Funny Person in America? Me?

For some unfathonable reason, I have been declared the number one least funniest person in America by the Defamer blog. Who knew? In the immortal words of Sgt Hulka, "I’ve got a helluva sense of humor!" And all this time I thought Colbert was the number one least funny person…

Friday Humor (or is it?): A NEW parable of the Ant and the Grasshopper

Ant and Grasshopper
TRADITIONAL VERSION:

The ant works hard in the withering heat all summer long, building his house and laying up supplies for the winter.

The grasshopper thinks the ant is a fool and laughs and dances and plays the summer away.

Come winter, the ant is warm and well fed. The grasshopper has no food or shelter, so he dies out in the cold.

MORAL OF THE STORY:
Be responsible for yourself!
MODERN VERSION:

The ant works hard in the withering heat all summer long, building his house and laying up supplies for the winter.

The grasshopper thinks the ant is a fool and laughs and dances and plays the summer away. Come winter, the shivering grasshopper calls a press conference and demands to know why the ant should be warm and well fed while others are cold and starving.

CBS, NBC, PBS, CNN, and ABC show up to provide pictures of the shivering grasshopper next to a video of the ant in his comfortable home with a table filled with food.

America is stunned by the sharp contrast. How can this be, that in a country of such wealth, this poor grasshopper is allowed to suffer so?

Kermit the Frog appears on Oprah with the grasshopper, and everybody cries when they sing, "It’s Not Easy Being Green."

Jesse Jackson stages a demonstration in front of the ant’s house where the news stations film the group singing, "We shall overcome."

 

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Happy Valentine’s Day

Our buddy John Hawkins at RightWingNews has released his latest creations just in time to send to the (political) love of your life. This is my favorite: Click here to see the rest of them. John will be one of our guests this Saturday on our radio program, Meet the New Press.    

The result of Democrats creating tax policies…

THIS SHOULD BE REQUIRED READING FOR EVERYONE OF VOTING/WORKING AGE . . . 

Bar Stool  Economics  

 

Suppose that every  day, ten men go out for beer and the bill for all ten comes to $100. If they  paid their bill the way we pay our taxes, it would go something like this: 
 
The first four men  (the poorest) would d pay nothing.
The fifth would  pay $1.
The sixth would  pay $3.
The seventh would  pay $7.
The eighth would  pay $12.
The ninth would  pay $18.
The tenth man (the  richest) would pay $59.
 
So, that’s what  they decided to do.  The ten men drank in the bar every day and seemed  quite happy with the arrangement, until one day, the owner threw them a curve.  ‘Since you are all such good customers, he said, ‘I’m going to reduce the cost  of your daily beer by $20. Drinks for the ten now cost just $80. 
 
The group still  wanted to pay their bill the way we pay our taxes so the first four men were  unaffected. They would still drink for free. But what about the other six men  – the paying customers?How could they divide the $20 windfall so that everyone  would get his ‘fair share?’ They realized that $20 divided by six is $3.33.  But if they subtracted that from everybody’s share, then the fifth man and the  sixth man would each end up being paid to drink his beer. So, the bar owner  suggested that it would be fair to reduce each man’s bill by roughly the same  amount, and he proceeded to work out the amounts each should pay.
 
And so (after the jump – bad things happen): 

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Clash of the superheroes…

John E. saves the day! . Our friend Paul over at Pun Salad scooped us on the followup to the John E. Sununu hero story we posted last week. It turns out that the citizens of NH are about to witness the ultimate epic battle between two Granite State superheroes! I had no idea! .

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