A spokesman for the Underworld Safety Council took the podium in Hades earlier this week to explain to an eager press corps why they have begun construction on a new border wall.
“We like to keep it a reasonable 7,000,000 degrees down here however, with the sudden influx of people we anticipate over the next fifty or so years, we anticipate they no doubt will bring some form of climate change with them,” offered Center for Climate Control Director Beezlebob.
When asked how this would stop climate change, the answer was simple “We’re not letting anyone in for a while. It’s about the safety of our current residents, really,” he said over the gnashing and wailing of area residents who seemed to be writhing in approval.
A new green initiative is underway however it has run into some snags. Local boss, Satan, decreed each resident must plant a tree to stabilize the rise in CO2. However, the saplings lasted mere seconds before bursting into flames. A local who wondered aloud if they couldn’t do something about the miasmatic Sulphur smell has since been relocated to the Nether Region for a “summer vacation,” where he will learn the value of keeping his mouth shut.
Building of the wall is underway; however, a deadline is uncertain as the contractors hired to do the work are all from Vermont.
