Steve noted not long ago, (paraphrased): “Notice something missing? Yeah, content from Skip. He’s been missing.” Indeed I have been. In fact, this (I think) is the second time I am saying the same thing but with a modifier: I [think] I am back. And I am glad that I can, again, finally put keystrokes to GraniteGrok.
It’s been a long, LONG 5 months, and NOW I hope to be writing again on a more normal basis.
First and again, I apologize to everyone that I was helping that I ghosted. Certainly not a voluntary situation, but it is clear that I just disappeared and dropped out of sight with little or no communication.
Family priorities came to the fore along with DCYF and taking in our fictive granddaughter (whom we have known since birth) because *I* believe a certain school district decided to make true a rumor that I had heard from others. School districts, mostly in the more populated southern tier, were dropping faux dimes on parents who wouldn’t hew to THEIR narratives during the Zoom days and/or saw how education was being carried out by their children’s teachers (or the lack of education, as the case might be). They decided, like millions of other parents across the nation, to revive THEIR control concerning their children’s education.
The Government (because the most obvious touchpoint by the Government to parents is their Public Schools) decided, “WE are in charge – shut up.” When parents persisted, these school districts sicced DCYF on them in what appears to be retaliation.
I believe that this was true in my son and daughter-in-law’s case as they forced their school district to do things for their special needs children that they didn’t want to do. So, I started to annoy DCYF with RTKs -> RSA 91-A Right To Know demands, and I caught them dead to rights (heh!) doing the wrong things. Some of those RTKs made themselves onto the ‘Grok, but I admit that I fell way behind on reporting on some of the “best” of them. I will set those right because even if I didn’t write about them here, they did get great usage just when they were needed…
..I gave them, and the answers, to my son’s Lawyer for use in Family Court. As Flounder in Animal House said, “Oh Boy, This Is Gonna Be Great!” I also gave him, ahead of the hearing, a list of questions to ask me AND the answers to them. They really weren’t necessary. Why?
I went to his first hearing, and when the Judge wanted to know who was present, I introduced myself as the child’s fictive grandfather as well as the Placement Foster Parent (having already taken sufficient training to pass from a visit with Grammy and Grandpa to then Kinship Caregivers, we are now permitted Foster Parents (waiting on DCYF to finish their paperwork – we long ago did everything that we were supposed to do), I saw that the DCYF Lawyer and Investigative Specialist (whose names I think I can mention here as they’ve been the focus of some of my RTK before the hearing) whip their heads around when I announced myself and then put their heads together and whispered to each other.
Sidenote: one is NOT supposed to report on what happens in Family Court. No video or audio recording. The doors are locked, so no one can sneak in or write about it, so I am trying VERY hard not to report any specifics that would get me cited. Please bear with me.
Then, I became a “witness of opportunity,” and they announced that they would be calling me as their witness.
Can you IMAGINE the glee with which I received this news??? I was higher than if Elon had put me on a Falcon Heavy for lift-off. You see, I had/have done my homework just in case; I knew what I was going to say and wargamed out possible questions. They, on the other hand, even after being on the butt end of my RTKs, made it clear that they had done none.
Sidenote: since I was called to testify, I let it be known that a number of RTKs had already been made public on GraniteGrok. Priceless. Lack of homework again.
Not a thing. And made the stupid assumption that Big Bad DCYF was going to grill me and that I’d be shaking in my boots to be up on the stand and make myself look stupid in front of the Judge.
Can you see the smile on my face as I type this in remembrance of what actually happened?
Without getting into details but with the mental help of repeating that old lawyer’s maxim of “Never ask a witness a question to which you already don’t know the answer,” – and the DCYF lawyer forgot all about it. But I surely didn’t and took full opportunity of it. Let’s just say that I had the chance to talk for as long as I wanted/needed and to make my points that I had already wargamed and made them look stupid.
Let’s just say that while my son’s lawyer, in the beginning, wasn’t happy that DCYF called me (but lightened up after I started). It was also clear to me, in reading his poker face, that my son was having a hard time containing himself (except when I mixed him up with his brother as to which one served in Afghanistan and/or Iraq). As was said later, “they unlocked the door, you strode in, and then blew their roof off.” And yes, the Judge kept staring at both of them, from what I was told.
Yes, the Judge was some unhappy with some of the illegalities that had been done by DCYF and the lawyer got it all started by trying to challenge my Liar’s Log (the other District had claimed Julie never lied) and had no response when I said: “What, you didn’t ask her current school for theirs that they had to start?”.
Snicker – lack of homework AGAIN!
And those were the high points for the DCYF Dubious Duo. While I was not present in the courtroom either after I officially became a witness or after my testimony.
But I digress. Almost all of my time was spent with some GREAT DCYF workers, both her case manager and the Liaison for Foster Parents, in navigating the complexities of becoming Foster Parents (and now, being dubbed Specialized Care Foster Parents because of all of her special needs AND plowing through the required classes as fast as I could to earn the title de jure and not just de facto). Also, I spent a TON of time getting her registered for school here and then dealing with all the problems and issues she brought as well as dealing with the meltdowns here and at school, which I cannot/should not get into here.
Suffice it to say that almost all of my and TMEW’s free time disappeared completely; she dealt with the day-to-day behaviors all summer while I’ve been on the phone or doing emails or driving her to faraway appointments all day long for months. This isn’t what we thought we were being handed, nor was it anything that we thought we’d ever have to face. We were caught unawares by everything and have had to walk through and nail down every single behavior and then create structures around them so as to try to head them off at the pass next time (with mixed results).
And the entire time, trying to ensure that the Grandson wasn’t left in the lurch (which, I am sad to say, happened a few times).
So thanks for reading it all and allowing me to shine, in a brief way, a single moment in which I could shine a quick Bright Light onto DCYF when folks only seem to worry about “their numbers” and not taking families for what they are – in the vast majority of times, just real humans trying to do the best they can.
And to again shine a light on the rumor of how some uppity school districts wanting to wreck the lives of parents who still believe that their children are theirs and that they have to right to advocate for what is best for them. It is clear that “retribution” happens and all the more with the philosophy of “Childism” (the bastard offspring of Critical Race Theory that holds that all Parents are evil and oppress their children, that children are oppressed are victims that must be saved, and the Saviors are the teachers and staffs are the ones to become the new Mommies and Daddies).
