The analogous situation to what you are advocating is to see a child and then, without saying a word to the Parent, whisk that child off to surgery for an hours, maybe a day long, procedure. And like the Florida case, return to the Parent and say “Sorry, she didn’t make it”, turn around and walk away without further conversation.
You can read the Op-Ed below by Drs. Chapman, Hoffer, and Shessler that advocates against Parental Rights while championing maintaining Trust for a child and their notion of their sexuality, they believe that any breaking of trust with a Parent is of no consequence. More on that but allow this quick sidestep on the actual politics of this as those that are needful of shaming must have it done whenever necessary and possible.
HB1341 failed because a few Republican Party RINOs voted against it after passing its Committee of Conference and a few more cowards “took a walk” and refused to do their NH House Rep job to make those hard decisions (great discipline for the Party Platform, NH GOP Chair Steve Stepanek!). In this case, to ensure that Parents came before Government (in the form of School Boards and staff) – but didn’t. They sided with Bigger Government, School Boards, and the Democrat-leaning Teachers’ Unions.
Sidenote: In my County, Belknap, these folks need to be replaced as they “voted” (no, or “walked away”) to put Government (school boards) to be superior to Parents with respect to the Parents’ children:
-Voted NO and needs to be primaried: Mike Bordes (Laconia 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6) So far there are 4 Rs for 4 seats
-Not Excused: Travis O’Hara (Laconia Ward 1,2,3,4,5,6; Belmont)
Both are part of the “Lang Gang.” The bloc who are constantly fighting against the Conservatives within the Belknap County Delegation of NH State Reps.
There still is the huge issue left remaining: who is your Trust supposed to be in line with? The cowards above made their choice clear. And while the issue is “settled” for now (and remember, NO Law is ever “settled” – it can ALWAYS be changed), three Doctors decided to use anecdotes to “prove” that they they are aligned with these two chuckleheads above (and those Steve mentioned in the links above).
My Summary response? Your medical expertise does not trump my Parental Rights. I’m not going to go over the “Blake” story – it’s irrelevant even as an “on ramp” to the rest of their Op-Ed. But here’s where they go off the rails:
It affirms that parents are entitled to receive report cards, changes to 504 plans, and other very reasonable pieces of information. However, buried in a long paragraph in a subsection of a subsection, it states that parents have the right to be notified if anyone related to the school system “finds the need for any action by school authorities relating to the student pursuant to school policies governing …gender expression or identity…” In other words, if a child requests in school to go by a different name or pronoun series, school affiliates would be required to reveal this change to the parents, even against the wishes of the child.
So, does this mean that if the schools demand homework be done, but it is against the “wishes of the child“, that teachers are to just “stuff it” not be allowed to see the academic capability of that child (or lack there of)? Of course not – we assume that a teacher knows better than the child does for that subject matter. And almost anyone of reasonable experience and wisdom would acknowledge that Parents have far more experience in the “my child” subject matter?
So why do these Doctors (and O’Hara and Bordes) automatically assume that a child knows better when it comes to sexuality? Why is this not part of those “other very reasonable pieces of information“? Are they perpetuating the idea, that when it comes to teaching their child about sexuality, that they know best the age at which to broach this idea, that Parents are UNFIT to parent their own children?
Why is such a policy necessary? Clearly, students like Blake, who feel safe discussing gender identity with their parents, will do so without a policy. Therefore, this policy is targeted at students who DON’T feel safe doing so, who believe that revealing this information will cause psychological, or even physical, harm.
Wrong question – such a policy is necessary as NO School Board, NO School Administration, NO school staff, in this Dillon’s Rule State, have been given the Power by the State Legislature to lie to Parents on ANYTHING. If they truly believe that a child is in danger, they are mandatory first responders and are to contact the responsible authorities like the police or DCYF.
But they have said “We are not bound to the Law in this. We are above the Law”. That in itself is THE reason why this policy is necessary as it makes it clear that “you can’t do that”.
And here is the Biggest Lie that those who so blithely dismiss the authority, the responsibility, and love that Parents have for their children:
But will mandating that the schools violate their privacy fix this problem? Of course, there may be some children who, because of this bill, learn that they were mistaken, and that their parents do support them. But for the vast majority, this is unlikely to be true. So, they will either keep their gender identity hidden at home and at school, or they will risk being “outed” to disapproving parents.
HOW DO YOU KNOW THAT? Once you are given your MD diploma and license, does that automatically bestow upon you the paranormal ability to read minds? That you can pick out every Parent that would shun their child? That’s what you’re telling the rest of us: I KNOW BETTER THAN YOU DO about your child.
Such hubris.
After all, I can just say that most Parents still love the children even after being convicted of being a murderer, right?
They do make another point which I believe is the much more important one and not enough of these “I’m Better Than You” people even as they are not sufficiently intellectually aware enough to know that they are making it for us:
Either way, there are significant risks to these children. Transgender and gender non-conforming students have rates of depression that are twice that of their gender-conforming peers, and rates of suicidality that are between two and 10 times that of the general population. Furthermore, the rate of suicide attempts for transgender and gender non-conforming youth who live in unsupportive homes is a full 50 percent higher than those who consider their homes supportive. However, for those who go to schools with supportive environments, their rates of depression, anxiety and suicide attempts are significantly lower.
It isn’t about the sexuality choices of these children (who are FAR too young to be making such life-altering decisions without Parental guidance, or help that Parents arrange for them), it is the underlying mental illnesses underlying all of this issue. And keeping the “tip of the iceberg” secret from Parents don’t help. And no, guidance counselors in schools, teachers in schools, are rarely qualified to handle these issues (to blunt another talking point – really, is a handful of hours of “in-service” training on this make teachers “experts”? We’re being told that via Policy, aren’t we?).
If a child is undergoing such difficulties, SHOULDN’T Parents be told in order to aid their children? After all, I go back to the Clay County incident where a guidance counselor turned a 12-year old girl to be transgender but because of the underlying mental issues, tried to commit suicide, not once but TWICE – and the school, only then, brought the Parents into the picture.
So, Doctors, you want to put up anecdotes? That’s mine when you put a child’s mental well-being into the hands of a school system where it is only a job.
And now the Parents are left to pick up the shattered pieces of that little girl’s life and the harm that the School system did to her – and to her Parents.
From my perspective, while you are treating a minor child as a patient, your “client” is the parent who brought them to you. While you are carefully treating the symptoms of that child to find out what the root cause of that child’s disease is, it is the Parent that you are responsible to.
The analogous situation to what you are advocating is to see a child and then, without saying a word to the Parent, whisk that child off to surgery for an hours, maybe a day long, procedure. And like the Florida case, return to the Parent and say “Sorry, she didn’t make it”, turn around and walk away without further conversation.
Would you really do that?
No, I don’t think any of the three of you would. But that’s exactly what your are wanting Schools to do, isn’t it?
And thus, your whole argument collapses, doesn’t it?
From the Union Leader:
HAVING BEEN a primary care pediatrician for almost 25 years, I’ve had a few really memorable patient encounters. One such encounter happened just a few months ago, with 12-year-old Blake. I’ve known Blake since birth, but until that day, I’d known him as Emma, and as a girl. That’s not what surprised me. What surprised me was the story he and his mom proceeded to tell: Blake had recently revealed his gender identity to his parents, and said they had taken it “…pretty well, they only freaked out when I told them what name I’d chosen.”
“Why did they freak out about ‘Blake’?” I asked
“No,” said his mom, laughing. “He initially chose the name Sam.”
“I’m missing something,” I slowly replied.
His mom, still laughing, explained “his older brother goes by John, but that’s his middle name. His first name is really SAMUEL!”
“But he’s not using it!” cried out Blake
“Not the point, Blake,” his mom replied, still laughing. “You can’t have your brother’s name.”
We then went on to complete Blake’s physical exam, and made plans for next steps.
What a lucky child. He clearly felt safe enough at home to reveal his male identity to his parents. In private, his mother admitted that she and his father were struggling a bit, but they were committed to supporting Blake in whatever way they could. What a gift they are giving him, I thought.
This gift is not as common as it should be, which is why we — as physicians, parents, friends, and citizens — need to oppose the current state legislative effort to forcibly reveal childrens’ gender identities to their parents. The New Hampshire Legislature is currently considering HB 1431, a Parents’ Bill of Rights, which lays out the rights parents have to be involved in their children’s school life — academics, extracurriculars, field trips, and so on. It affirms that parents are entitled to receive report cards, changes to 504 plans, and other very reasonable pieces of information. However, buried in a long paragraph in a subsection of a subsection, it states that parents have the right to be notified if anyone related to the school system “finds the need for any action by school authorities relating to the student pursuant to school policies governing …gender expression or identity…” In other words, if a child requests in school to go by a different name or pronoun series, school affiliates would be required to reveal this change to the parents, even against the wishes of the child.
Why is such a policy necessary? Clearly, students like Blake, who feel safe discussing gender identity with their parents, will do so without a policy. Therefore, this policy is targeted at students who DON’T feel safe doing so, who believe that revealing this information will cause psychological, or even physical, harm.
But will mandating that the schools violate their privacy fix this problem? Of course, there may be some children who, because of this bill, learn that they were mistaken, and that their parents do support them. But for the vast majority, this is unlikely to be true. So, they will either keep their gender identity hidden at home and at school, or they will risk being “outed” to disapproving parents.
Either way, there are significant risks to these children. Transgender and gender non-conforming students have rates of depression that are twice that of their gender-conforming peers, and rates of suicidality that are between two and 10 times that of the general population. Furthermore, the rate of suicide attempts for transgender and gender non-conforming youth who live in unsupportive homes is a full 50 percent higher than those who consider their homes supportive. However, for those who go to schools with supportive environments, their rates of depression, anxiety and suicide attempts are significantly lower.
We can’t legislate home life, but we can do our best to keep schools supportive sanctuaries. As pediatricians, it is our role to support both our patients and their parents, and usually their interests are aligned. But when they are not, it is especially important that we find ways to be supportive to both.
It is false to think that we have to choose one or the other; we do it all the time. But this bill does just that — it endeavors to support parents by violating the rights of vulnerable children. The Attorney General’s Office opposes this bill, as do numerous civil rights and LGBTQ+ rights groups, as well as teachers unions. We applaud Governor Chris Sununu for recognizing the damage this bill could do and vowing to veto it. Let’s work together to find alternative ways to support both children and their parents in our collective effort to raise physically and mentally healthy children.
Dr. Erik Shessler of Hooksett is president of the New Hampshire chapter of the American Academy of Pediatrics. Doctors Deborah R. Hoffer and Steven H. Chapman live in Hanover. Chapman is the prior president of the chapter.
