So … a few highlights of Joe Biden’s commonsense plan to beat COVID.
It all starts with ending the filibuster (provided the Democrats have at least 50 Senators). Joe will NOT let a heartless minority of GOP Senators block legislation that can and will end this pandemic!
Once Joe has ended GOP obstructionism, it is on to a national mask-and-face-shields mandate … EVERYWHERE. This … needless to say … will require us as a nation to redefine the 4th Amendment to allow law enforcement to conduct … let’s call them “surprise home audits” … to ensure that everyone is masked up and goggled up.
Joe will also require everyone to get a vaccination. He will … needless to say … require the greedy insurance companies to cover the cost. There may be a slight … and I emphasize slight … increase in your premiums, but safety from a killer pandemic … needless to say … is far, far, far more important than consumer choice.
Joe recognizes that it is not just the United States versus COVID … but the world versus COVID. Joe will open our markets to China (repeal those “Trump tariffs”), while allowing the Chi-Comms to open their markets at a pace they deem appropriate. No more of this “America First” nonsense … we are all citizens of the world … and it will take a team effort to defeat COVID.
And … needless to say … Joe will reinstate the Iran deal. Who are we to tell Mullahs who preach “Death to America” they can’t have nuclear weapons?
Joe recognizes that being a friend of Iran means that we no longer need any domestic fossil fuel production … because our new Iranian friends would never think of blockading the strait of Hormuz or attacking Saudi oil fields … so we’ll have as much Middle Eastern oil as we need while we transition to solar and wind.
What does this have to do with COVID? Did you actually ask that question? To paraphrase Joe, I say in response: COME ON MAN!
Where was I? Oh right.
Joe has pledged that within the first 100 days he will tear down or demolish every statue of Christopher Columbus. Defeating COVID requires a total renouncement of our colonial past. The IHME model says so.
Joe’s plan requires all States to provide mail-in-voting and early voting. As the mountains of body-bags grow higher and higher and higher ever day … I can’t even look out the window anymore … we cannot ask people to choose between their health and their right-to-vote. And … needless to say … there may be more pandemics … or should I say, “Trump viruses” … out there, so Joe will make this a permanent change.
And while we are on the topic of voting … needless to say … Joe’s plan will amnesty every illegal alien in the United States and slash funding for DHS so we can amnesty even ore for the midterms! Go, Joe, go!
And, YES, of course Joe will raise your taxes! We are all in this battle against COVID together! And … wait for it … wait for it … a “public option,” which will destroy the private system of healthcare and serve as a stepping-stone to single payer. Oh Happy Days!
And … needles to say … no battle-plan against COVID would be complete without plans to combat systemic racism and eviscerate the First and Second Amendments. Joe’s controllers … oops, sorry, I mean Joe … has plans to do so!
What’s that you say … you don’t think I’m being serious? THAT is exactly the problem … I am dead serious. And anyone who thinks any of this is farfetched is the one who is NOT serious.