The Surgeon General announced at a news conference today that Trump Derangement Syndrome (TDS) is incurable. The news rippled through the ranks of CNN, ABC, MSNBC, and CBS. Panic was reported near newsrooms across the nation. It is currently unknown whether the disease is communicable or even what the source may be. It is known that it is prevalent among the news community and leftist politicians.
The surgeon General went on to say Trump Derangement Syndrome may be terminal. The matter is under study. Adam Schiff is being watched closely. It is felt he may have been patient #1. Also currently under observation are Jim Acosta, Maxine Waters, Kamala Harris, AOC and the entire Congressional Progressive Caucus.
According to the Surgeon General proximity to President has been demonstrated to produce immunity to the syndrome. Rumors are circulating that facts and reasoning can be used as an inoculation against TDS. No news organization seems to be carrying information about this developing story.
The 2 year long investigation of Trump that cost tens of millions of your tax dollars for collusion was released last Friday. The Attorney general announced today that there are no further indictments coming in association with the investigation. The President is exonerated of collusion and all of the charges that caused initiation of the investigation. The Attorney General will not release the full report because the Special Prosecutor Law prohibits that from happening.
Say a prayer for Whoopie and Cathy and Mika. Stay tuned for further developments. More ranting at 11:00…