‘Grok friend John Hawkins has a new column over at Townhall that outlines the 10 most essential rules that you have to follow if you want to be an “Establishment Republican” (other than blue blazers for men and pearl necklaces for women):
1) There is nothing ever worth fighting for except Democrat policies: If you’re going to fight for something, make sure you’re fighting your own base to help the Democrats achieve some policy goal that makes Tea Partiers want to stab themselves in their eyes…
2) You must systematically destroy any person, place, or thing that excites conservatives: Nothing good ever comes from conservatives getting excited; so make sure to target anything and anyone that gets them fired up…
3) You’re a winner just by virtue of being an establishment Republican: When Tea Partiers rally behind a candidate who loses, it’s because those guys don’t know what they’re doing…
4) Trash conservatives, but hold your fire against Democrats: There’s a reason that both John McCain and Mitt Romney fought harder against their Republican primary opponents than they did against Barack Obama…

