An Idle Observation About Teen Paranormal Romance

by Steve MacDonald


Vampires…are not emotional sissy boys, do not attend high school, do not sparkle.

Barnes & Nobel now has a shelf titled ‘Teen Paranormal Romance.”

But “normal” has never been a point on the map with teenage girls has it?  Adding romance?   When did that situation get solved?  I seem to recall teenage romance being a cross between the movie Inception and a George Romero flick with a menstrual cycle.

Young girls smitten with dreamy boy band rejects, or the kid from the wrong side of the tracks, all of whom are secretly self-loathing outcasts that totally get each other–then don’t…. describes almost every “normal” teenage relationship I’ve ever heard of.  And if she’s a vegan your bacon obsession is on the same plane of reality as sucking the blood out of dead animals to survive.  (You may tell her you’ll give up bacon but we know the truth.)

I don’t think Teenage boys are even human until they reach, I don’t know, forty?

Teen Paranormal Romance shouldn’t have a shelf.  It should have it’s own wing.

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