Humor

…I. Just. Can. Not. Resist….  

 :—) 

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Three guys die and go to heaven.

St. Peter says "Listen – we’re having a really busy century, so we need to manage admissions tightly. Right now we can only admit people who have died in horrible fashions, and those who have died in a more mundane way will have to wait in limbo, and it could take a decade or two to work you in."

So St. Peter takes aside the first man, and asks him how he died.

"Well, I’d been suspicious of my wife having an affair for some time now, so today I came home from work early. I just knew the guy was in my apartment, but I couldn’t find him. I looked everywhere and was just about to give up, when I went out on the balcony of my 23rd story apartment and there he was hanging over the edge! He was just barely hanging on, there was no way he could climb back onto the balcony. It was a really stupid place to try to hide. I was livid, so I started punching him and clawing at his fingers, but he held on. Finally I went to get a hammer and started pounding on his fingers, and he fell down. But what really angered me was that he landed in some bushes and fell to the ground dazed, but basically OK! I was so mad I grabbed the refrigerator, threw it off the balcony and it landed on him. Unfortunately I was so riled up by the incident I had a heart attack and died."

St. Peter was taken aback, and said "While you did die in a dramatic fashion, I think we need to look…

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I think that if George would watch this, he might agree: time, perhaps, to  contemplate getting another spokesman"

• "…If I don’t agree with you, I can drop you like a bad habit…"
• "…my way or the highway…"
• "…still get my way…"
• "…I may dump him and run after all…"

Suffice to say that the Lakes Region Rigor Mortis Conservative doesn’t exactly have me on his "A" party list so when I watched this clip that was sent to me, I figured I’d put it up.  Please remember, however, that these are not my words – they are his.

This video can be hard to listen to – outdoor, near a road with traffic, and on a phone cam; you may need to listen to it a couple of times.

Now, let’s be fair;  the full clip (unedited by me) IS after the jump and is 4:24 in length; this "abstract" is 2:47. 

Watch both and decide for yourself – endorsement…for who?

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It almost goes without saying that there were no Liberals there, no Progressives there, that would have been participating in the event (the speakers, the food, the talking with Liberty minded people) on their own.  Again, the movement is oriented (along with the TEA Party folks) in a "back to the future" manner, that we have to go back and reclaim our Rights regarding individual freedoms simply enumerated in the Constitution.  Unless that happens, the forces of Progressivism will continue to march us, to "progress" us, to nothing more to what is incremental socialism and then on to totalitarianism.  Self-governance (and I’m not just talking about casting a vote) is anathema to these "smarter / holier than thou" folks (like Zandra Rice Hawkins of Granite State Progress).

Anyways, I digress.  On the way home, I saw this car and immediately thought "kismet!" and the bumper sticker:

Problem was, I kept wishing for a red light so I could snap the picture at a close enough range to be readable here.  Well, for once, I hit every single green light from Dover up to Alton on Rt 16.  Darn.

Well, there’s always Google, and with a bit of finagling of search terms, I found it:

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Tongue-in-cheek awards!

I can be a long patient person – as shown by my willingness to endure endless hours of drab, humorless blither and blather by office-holder-wannabees, I crave moments of either absolute absurdity or stunning brilliance in the art and execution in the rhetorical arts.

Well, Wednesday nite at the Seacoast Republican Women Senatorial Debate, there were three responses that I decided deserved a wee bit more attention than the rest of the rather drab (but important!) questions and answers – because they made us laugh.  They are:

• The Tweaking Award
• The Best One Word Answer in a Foreign Language Award
• The Best Non-verbal Response Award

Thus, let us render the prizes! 

GraniteGrok Award – "The Tweaking Award"

The Tweaking Award, was earned by Jim Bender for cheekily taking advantage of the very public and blunderbuss carrying party that Bill Binnie and Kelly Ayotte are sharing.

GraniteGrok Award –  "Best One Word Answer In A Foreign Language"

Gerard Beloin truly earned this honor with his answer to the question "Would you vote yes to make English to be the official language of the United States?"

GraniteGrok Award – "Best Non-verbal Response Award"

Once again,

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