Recent studies by professional stupidity testers reveal what many of us have suspected for quite some time – American’s are getting stupider.
National intelligence quota (IQ) testing begat around the 1930s when the rise in Nazism had many concerned that American males fond of the movement would inevitably all begin walking like geese with tiny moustaches. However, the encouraging data revealed that Americans were not only getting smarter but outpacing evolution. Rather than being comforted by this sciency discovery, many important people began to worry that the Bible might actually be true, and that rather than ascend from primates, our jungle-like behavior was not the result of ape-like genetics but actual evil in our nature. So the testing continued in hopes that evolution would win the day, as it is a theory held close to the hearts of the highly moral and erudite.
The history of stupidity is as old as time in memoriam. One incredibly old guy famously said “talk sense to a fool and he calls you foolish”. Which begs the question, who’s the real idiot here – the fool or the guy trying to talk sense to one?
America’s first and still greatest president, Benjamin Franklin, once said, “We are all born ignorant, but one must work hard to remain stupid”, which is reminiscent of another dead guy’s insight: “Without hard work, nothing grows but weeds.” Apparently, he hadn’t heard of the fertile ground from whence comes stupidity.
Dietrich Bonhoeffer was one of several anti-Nazi resistance leaders who were members of the German Intelligence agency known as Abwehr (French for “not stupid”). Despite being an ordained Christian pastor, Bonhoeffer and his colleagues conspired to un-alive Adolph Hitler. An equally not stupid Hitler found out about the plot and sentenced Bonhoeffer to prison where he wrote a series of letters detailing his thoughts at the time. One of them tackled the problem of stupidity:
“Stupidity is a more dangerous enemy of the good than malice. One may protest against evil; it can be exposed and, if need be, prevented by use of force. Evil always carries within itself the germ of its own subversion in that it leaves behind in human beings at least a sense of unease. Against stupidity we are defenseless… The fact that the stupid person is often stubborn must not blind us to the fact that he is not independent. In conversation with him, one virtually feels that one is dealing not at all with a person, but with slogans, catchwords and the like that have taken possession of him. He is under a spell, blinded, misused, and abused in his very being. Having thus become a mindless tool, the stupid person will also be capable of any evil and at the same time incapable of seeing that it is evil. This is where the danger of diabolical misuse lurks, for it is this that can once and for all destroy human beings.”
This past weekend, we witnessed the uncritical mass of moral and erudite Americans wielding weapons-grade stupidity in protest of apparent evil. Armed with the slogan “No Kings” the faithful took to the streets of Los Angeles, New York, Chicago, Miami, Portland, Seattle and Burlington where they marched the roads peacefully with bricks, sticks, Molotov cocktails and mass produced signs emblazoned with catch phrases like “NO ONE IS ILLEGAL” and “ICE IS THE NEW GEZPACHO”.
Of course, mostly peaceful protests don’t happen organically; they have to be funded in order to peel Americans from their couches long enough to get the closest they’ll come to exercise this year for a reasonable fee. With minimum wage set at $15/hr and the cost of throwing your dignity away as you destroy your local community being somewhat higher the creators of this latest made for TV movement were offering anywhere from $150 to $200 a day for anyone able to read a street sign with a descent arm and reasonable aim.
No mass gathering of semi-retarded people would be complete without keynote speakers there to whip them up into an emotional frenzy, reminding them why they hate their own country. Fresh off over ten years of lowering American’s education standards so that no child is left behind Randy Weingarten addressed one of the crowds alongside No Kings co-creator Leah Greenberg with a special guest who would never miss a paid opportunity to preach politics, the Reverend Al Sharpton.
However, nothing speaks truth to power like fame and the perspective one gains from a low Earth orbit, which is why astronaut Katy Perry took to social media to remind everyone why Mexicans should take back their native land, currently identifying as California. Luckily, she puts her money where her mouth is and began the re-colonization of Los Angeles by suing a convent she wanted to own for the acoustics that led to the rapid depopulation of the local nuns who, despite their cloistered and religious existence, counter-protested by dropping dead in the courtroom. Sweet Jesus!
So after the weekend’s celebrations of life and with time to reflect let’s all take a moment to remember that “Love is love”, “Black Lives Matter”, “Trans rights are human rights” and it’s never too late to “Defund the Police” or “Eat the Rich” because after all its “My body, My choice” and no greater calling is there than to choose to do what you’re paid to.
It’s better to be stupid than evil.
Never underestimate the power of stupid people in large groups.
–George Carlin
