According to DFC Today, Dzhokhar Tsarnaev, the surviving Boston Marathon Bomber, received the $1,400 stimulus payment in mid-June 2021, thanks to our oh, so woke federal representatives.
That would be “I Brought NH in Dead Last…Dead Last,” Maggie Hassan and “Vive la révolution!” Jeanne Shaheen, according to a Wednesday filing by federal prosecutors.
The documents also show he had received roughly $20,000 from other sources. The money can be used by him to buy goods and products for use in prison, including clothing, cigarettes, food, and candy. That’s nice, we wouldn’t want this poor man to suffer like Prince Albert in the can.
The convicted bomber has received over $11,000 from the Office of Federal Defenders in New York, sure’n begorrah, $2,500 from an individual in Indianapolis, over $1,400 from a person in Bloomfield, New Jersey, $950 from a person in Frederick, Maryland, and nearly $3,500 from dozens of other individuals, according to the federal court filing.
You know, I can see how a hard-luck story like killing a bunch of innocent folk in Boston and then having your terrorist brother die in a hail of police gunfire in Watertown while Tsarnaev was on the lam from the slaughter must be taken into that sob story equation. So, who better to chime in and okay the dough than our radical revolutionary Shaheen and our fiscal spirit guide Hasan. And so it goes, honest folk NH and the US end up losers in this caper, big time.
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Concomitant with the forgoing folderol, I soon received an electronic missive from Senator Hassan, touting her latest and greatest five triumphs.
Pardon me for living, but having taken four years of Latin, when I think of triumphs I imagine Gaius Julius Caesar riding into Rome in his ceremonial chariot, sporting the gold inlaid lighting bolts in ivory panels, with Vercingetorix of the Gauls in tow while he’s pelted with flowers. A bedecked slave stands behind Julius holding a golden crown over Caesar’s head while saying sotto voce, “Remember, you are mortal.” Today, nobody says that to our ruling Democrat junta.
Then, brought to me through the electronic aether, I learned that Senator Hassan has worked on a more plebeian project to slow our substance crisis. Maggie uses the term “misuse”, like, what, mistaking an Alka-Seltzer for a chondroitin tablet?
Next, the fair senator is “ensuring that the National Guard can help state and local governments and businesses improve their cybersecurity.” But we must remind Senator Hassan that the National Guard role is always limited to how much help that entity will allow.
Ms. Hassan waxes eloquently about how she has worked long hours to include an amendment in the current defense bill to establish another memorial on the National Mall to those who have served in the war on terror. Well, let’s see, since Hassan just sent $1,400 to Dzhokar Tsarnaev for his hard work at the 2013 Boston Marathon, will she include his name on this memorial? Hasn’t he suffered enough like so many criminals the Democrats coddle? Can’t some Obama judge free this poor man? Will this help NH?
Now we come to a situation that we can all take deep pride in for Hassan having the wherewithal to step up and rectify.
‘Women who serve our country often pay more for their uniforms than their male counterparts. This is a “pink tax”,’ the “Magster” booms — ‘and has no place in our country. I worked to address out-of-pocket expenses service members pay for uniforms.’ Ah, what uniforms are talking about? I thought everyone wore the same BDU’s, which were issued by Uncle Sap, er, us. The new “pinks” are also issued by us. Low quarter shoes and combat boots are also freely issued. Are we speaking about unmentionables? I thought they were issued like my paper thin military undershorts were. In the field, you never wore them anyway, unless we’ve become the dandies and fops you read about in Time or Us. The Magster makes no further explanation concerning this onerous “pink” tax other than it has no place here and she’s working on this horrific breach of required civility, fairness and equality.
But wait, there’s one more item of vital national importance trumpeted in Senator Hassan’s emailed screed.
Senator Hassan is proud to announce that she is supporting quantum research efforts somewhere. Great, but there are so many of these ongoing investigations that you can’t swing a NH raccoon without knocking over a pile of treatises. Does our tireless junior senator mean those quantum information science studies, where $17.5 million has recently been thrown at the research at DOE’s Oak Ridge National Laboratory? But this minuscule amount out of the trillions routinely tossed down big city ratholes at the behest of top Democrat solons seems like small potatoes for the clout Senator Maggie Hassan D-NH touts on our hustings.
Senator Jeanne Shaheen has offered “La révolution!,” for those of us who’ve survived abortion.
Meanwhile, five areas of blight have been expounded upon by our expansive Granite State junior Senator Maggie Hassan – okaying the COVID dole for criminals and terrorists in prison, slowly curbing pharmaceutical misuse, rounding up local Guardsmen for cyber-safeguarding, identifying one more omitted memorial on the mall and announcing her support for some kind of quantum research somewhere. And breathlessly announcing that she has found a so called “pink” tax unfairly levied against our women, who must buy certain parts of their military get ups unlike men, of course, serving in the military despite almost all the BDU’s and the new pink and green uniforms being routinely issued.
This is called bringing home the bacon, folks. Great slabs of candied bacon shipped to us here in the Granite State . We’ve gotta revel in our time, it’ll never get any better than this.
Et tu, Maggie (D-NH)?