In trying to find a couple of Thanksgiving posts from the past that I wanted to post up, I stumbled upon this and thought that I’d share it again. After all, who knew that I and TMEW would have to be re-living my own admonitions below in raising the Grandson (a “GrandFamily”)? An abstract from 2014: Thanksgiving – a re-acquainting and a reality check
…But while I say goodbye on one hand, I am still having the opportunity of my life in becoming re-acquainted with the Youngest. My time with him as a “full-of-himself” teenager and early-twenties was no fun at all and there were a lot of times I wondered what the heck I was raising. These last two weeks, however, have revealed a more laid-back son, more willing to smile and showing the signs of our relationship moving from Dad-the-Father to Dad-the-Advisor. Now out of the Army, he has a bewildering number of options as he deals with some after effects of his hitch and service. Before it used to be “leave me alone – *I* can figure it out!”; now it is more often than not ‘Hey Dad, what do you think about…”. It was also fun as he kept TMEW and I in stitches with some stories from his service during our Thanksgiving dinner. Dunno why they came out today, but mirthful doesn’t even come close.
It’s unreal how smart I got in 4 years. It’s also humbling that some things that I wanted to pass on (“You will always be a parent.”) actually seem to have taken root. For that, I am thankful to God for giving me the patience in dealing with is “idiosyncrasies”. The reality check, THE reality check, for those that still have young or middling kids at home…
…is this one:it is scary to now realize how closely my kids watched me as they grew up – what I said, what I did, how I acted, and how I treated others. They now tell me “Dad, you always said to…” and “Dad, remember when you did this for…” why I ask them “Why did you do it that way?”. And sometimes, they don’t even say a thing – but I can see the lessons that have been passed on from my Mom through me to them. Teachings. They matter.
Traditions. They matter, no matter what folks say is the “new normal”. And the family is the best way to pass down what works. No, not everyone has the best family situations (for me, my parents split when I was young and my Dad passed away before I hit Jr. High) but all in all, it works. And that, again, is the reality check for me this Thanksgiving. Life matters, family matters – and the way you live your life in front of your family (especially when you think they aren’t paying attention) matters even more.
Life teaches lessons if you only would pay attention.
This is Thanksgiving. And make no mistake, I watch the Grandson watching us just the Eldest and Youngest did all that time ago.
And for that, I am thankful.
