Manhattan is supposed to be underwater, the ice caps melted, our ravaged beachless shores teeming with climate refugees (as opposed to the economic ones with which we find ourselves). But the Gucci-shoed sandwich board prophets were wrong. The end is anything but nigh.
Which is good news for fans of fall foliage.
Three things you can count on
There’s a joke that goes something like this. You can count on only two things in this world: death and taxes. That’s no longer true. There are three—death, taxes, and dire Climate Cult predictions that never come to pass.
If it were a foretelling of the second coming of Jesus, they’d have been laughed off the world state decades ago. But they have deep pockets or deep-pocketed backers. A Vatican Bank, if you like, and maybe that bank is in on the scam as well – the end of the world being up their alley.
But these are “Bums” in Bergdorf Goodman suits, pimping muppets like Greta Thunberg to peddle their bottles of piss.
It’s the oldest confidence scam in the book – from before, there were books. The end is nigh. Come into the light to be saved. If you refuse, we shall all be damned to some hell that includes no maple syrup, bad apples, the end of skiing, beachless beaches, fewer potatoes, more forest fires, undermined ancient monuments, and less leaf-peeping—a world filled with plagues, shortages, and not enough energy to keep us warm.
They failed so badly at predicting what nature would do that they had to “man-make it all” themselves. The Gucci-shoed sandwich board prophets engineered a virus (and a more dangerous cure), wrecked the economy, the supply chain, the energy markets, and look: we’re running low on things, or they are getting unaffordable.
The climate they were referring to was theirs but look on the bright side. The fall foliage soothsayers think it’ll be another good year to get out and watch the leaves die.
Vermont Forest, Parks and Recreation Commissioner Michael Snyder, along with a team of foresters, have put out the state’s first weekly fall foliage report of the season. For the next six weeks they will let leaf-peepers know about the progression of the season based on scientific data. The stage is set for another season of resplendent fall color, Snyder and company said in their report from September 12.
It’s still game on for autumn in New England. New Hampshire, Vermont, Maine, and Upstate New York predict that New Hampshire, Vermont, Maine, and Upstate New York will be the best places to see the best color this autumn. I won’t disagree. Fall in New England isn’t just some pretty trees and colder temps (which do not, as a reminder, mean the end of climate change).
This annual splendor is impossible without change. It is change. Autumn is climate change with or without the Gucci-shoed sandwich board prophets. And this year, not unlike all the others, change looks good (and has nothing at all to do with your western lifestyle).
