Yesterday’s VDC article covered the speech given by Vermont Senator and Ultra-mega Socialist Bernie “Uncle Bern” Sanders. Citing a variety of national polls comrade Sanders expressed concern over the following:
- Gallup poll – the approval rating for Congress is at 16% with massive numbers of people disapproving of the work we are doing here.
- University of Chicago poll – a strong majority of Americans believe that the government is “corrupt and rigged against me.”
- USA Today poll – a very strong majority no longer believes that the Democratic or Republican parties are responding to their needs and we need to move to a multi-party system.
We did some investigating into each and found:
- The 16% approval rating came entirely from citizens of California, most of who reported they were “high” during the survey
- The “strong majority” when calculated total 100%; this Windy City poll was also ended early due to high levels of gun violence outside of the polling station that is now boarded up
- We reached out to representatives of both parties for comment and were immediately sent to voicemail where we were asked for donations
Senator Sanders went on to say:
“And, most frighteningly, there is a growing number of Americans who believe that they may have to take up arms against their own government in order to accomplish what they think needs to be done.”
Our analysts reached out to several of the respondents who made these statements and we were told the following:
- “Tell ******* commie Uncle Bernie I’ve been put on at least three terrorist watch lists ever since I liked a picture of Melania Trump on Facebook – she’s wicked hot in that photo, this is my fault?”
- “A friend of mine had me read 1984 and I thought it was off by about thirty years. I don’t want to end up like Winston.”
- “Have you watched the January 6th trials?”
- Our second favorite: “Three words: shall not be infringed.”
- Our favorite: “I was at the capitol on January 6th and made it to the basement only to find a stamp on the floor that said ‘Made in China’.”
We also decided to fact-check this statement by Senator Sanders:
“All of this speaks to a very dangerous moment for American democracy and resembles the conditions that existed in Europe in the 1920s and early 1930s which led to fascism and totalitarianism.”
Rating: MOSTLY TRUE
EXPLANATION: While fascism and totalitarianism did occur in 1920S and 1930s Europe, Senator Sanders forgot to mention the another –ISM that was the biggest threat to citizens and their freedom -COMMUNISM. COMMUNISM would kill over 100 million people between China and the Soviet Union. Senator Sanders honeymooned in the communist Soviet Union, is a believer in a communist utopia and is excited about the one forming Burlington, which may explain this mostly innocent omission.
As for his concerns regarding where politicians rank in terms of popularity, we reached out to our colleagues at the Bananas Research Center located in Vermont where they shared with us their findings from a recent poll. The results are as follows:
