As a fifty-year resident of Laconia, N.H., I was shocked to read of the unsolvable bathroom issue at Laconia High School where all bathrooms have been locked and students must stand in line at the nurse’s station to relieve themselves.
I channeled Jonathan Swift of Gulliver Travels fame, the ultimate satirist, to obtain his thoughts. Mr. Swift dictated the following to me.
The Disney Company has taken Mickey Mouse and Minnie Mouse transgender. Mickey is now a girl, and Minnie Mouse is a boy. Pluto now thinks he is a cat. Donald and Daisy Duck are in the throes of deciding whether they are L, G, B, T, or Q. T AP reported that Donald told Daisy that he thinks Disneyland has gone “Quackers” so they must be Qs.
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The UPI reports that, just like Laconia High School, Disneyland has been thunderstruck by a Bathroom Brouhaha. Disney’s President reports the issue is so complicated that the Board of Directors has been unable to resolve the issue for six months. The Fauci Flu provided some relief, so to speak, because of a pandemic closure that closed the Park and then reduced crowds.
With recent crowd surges, the brilliant minds of Disney decided to lock all bathrooms in the Magic Kingdom except the bathroom at Cinderella’s Castle. This unique solution led to an exciting, unexpected benefit ( consequence): Wait time for rides has been reduced from one hour to five minutes except for the Bathroom line at Cinderella’s Castle. Disney is covering up the length of lines and the wait time. As everyone knows imaginations run wild in the Magic Kingdom.
Drudge Reports has an exclusive that the confounded Disney Board has retained world-renown mediums to consult Walt Disney to solve the “Bathroom Brouhaha” enigma! Unfortunately, both Walt and Roy have been retained by the Heavenly Bodies to plan and erect a Galaxy Wonderland and Tour! Walt is so out of touch he texted he thought Joe Biden could solve the Bathroom Brouhaha and save Disney’s plummeting stock value from Chapter 11.
GOOD LUCK DISNEY!