NASA's "Homophobic" Telescope is Ready to Launch Into Space - Granite Grok

NASA’s “Homophobic” Telescope is Ready to Launch Into Space

James Webb Space Telescope

NASA is ready to launch the next best thing in space telescopes, but they named it after James Webb. He “oversaw all the critical first manned launches in the Mercury through Gemini programs.” He’s a big deal to NASA, so this seemed like a fitting tribute, but someone’s pissed.

The angry petition division of the Gaystapo says Webb helped purge “queer people” from the government in the 1950s.


“We, the future users of NASA’s next-generation space telescope and those who will inherit its legacy, demand that this telescope be given a name worthy of its remarkable discoveries, a name that stands for a future in which we are all free,” the petition reads.


If that was wrong, then why isn’t it unfair to purge people from Facebook and Twitter (organizations, careers, life) today?

Reasons. None of which need concern us because none of it means anything anymore.

To quote NH Senator Jeanne Shaheen, “Look, it doesn’t matter whether you support that or not. The fact is, that’s in the past… “

At this point, what difference does it make?

That should include Confederate flags, statues, names of schools, past tweets, and – obviously, creepy Joe Biden’s, sexual assaults, including his non-consensual bodily penetration of Tara Reade.

No one will be pointing any telescopes or cameras or anything at any of that anytime soon. Nothing to see there, you see. But this Webb fellow, well, he’s a problem but not for NASA.


The space agency tells NPR it has investigated the matter and decided to keep the telescope’s name as is, ahead of the long-awaited launch in December.

“We have found no evidence at this time that warrants changing the name of the James Webb Space Telescope,” says NASA administrator Bill Nelson.


They should have just quoted Senator Shaheen, but then maybe they didn’t know they could and just went with a good ole’ F-off squeaky, were not greasing that wheel.

Good for them.

NASA’s Homophobic Telescope is slated to launch in December, and once fully operational, it can search billions of years into the past for someone who cares.


Here’s a nifty promotional video -hey, is the narrator a lesbian? That might help.