If you have not already heard about Tinder, it is a dating app. It has mostly become known for its culture of casual dating and “hooking up” “Recently, Tinder sent out their weekly newsletter, one that I got word of, which included a surprising article that took me by surprise.
As we are all probably aware, there is a term called “slut shaming.” Shaming women for sleeping around with men and treating it as a casual thing. This article that Tinder released in their newsletter was titled “Let’s shut up about virgins already.” Throughout the article, the testimony of several young individuals was provided. These young people ranged from heterosexual men and women to other preferred sexual orientations (which frustrates me even to type that).
These young men and women all had a very similar story from their own experiences, which is that they all felt awkward for having made it to their very earlier 20’s as a virgin. Keep in mind, most of them lost their virginity by the age of 21, except for one or two. But their stories are nonetheless very telling. Most of their friends had lost their virginity by the time they were 18 years of age.
One individual who was interviewed and had decided to abstain from sexual intercourse, felt like he was “uncool” and described the stereotype of a virgin as,
“Either you are a total loser, you are holding onto some sort of constricting archaic belief, or you are lying. Basically, you are a joke.”
It’s a bit surprising that Tinder would share an article that at least provide some positive light on virginity and its value, considering the casual dating and intimacy culture that Tinder has encouraged through its application.
The author of the article also brought up an excellent point, stating,
“If we are finally moving away from slut shaming, why does prude-shaming seem to be totally fine?”
That’s a great question!
Keep in mind; I would not encourage people to be shamed or publicly mocked and ridiculed for sleeping around. But it should be discouraged. And young people should be counseled on why it’s unhealthy to engage in sexual activity with multiple people. That being said, the author is right!
Throughout my interactions with people all over New England, I can tell you that many young people believe in saving their sex life for marriage. The media and pop culture would love you to find that values, such as saving yourself for marriage, are archaic and frowned upon by level-headed people. But that is simply not true. And with the casual dating app, Tinder, sharing this story, it is becoming clear that there is a culture shift happening.
In an era where your adulthood is measured by whether or not you have had sex (and how many people you have done it with – especially for men), it is nice to see that same culture bringing some consistency to the table. Encouraging people not to criticize those who choose to save their love life and intimacy for marriage.