ABC's Good Morning America On Yet Another "Puke-Fest" - Granite Grok

ABC’s Good Morning America On Yet Another “Puke-Fest”

“Sarcasm…Because beating the shit out of people is illegal.” —unknown

abc_gma_anchors_nt_2_110608_wgHere we go…Another smarmy, “look how wonderful we are, Good Morning America” show. Nothing says, “I have an ego bigger than Montana,” like being a host of the ABC News (News” and I use the term extremely loosely) show “Good Morning America.   How many of these shows can a network possibly do?

Sam Champion left the show recently…The whole show was a kumbayah love-fest, replete with hugs, tears, emotional recaps and clips and blathering on about how much they love each other and are going to miss, “Sam.” It just brought a tear to my eye…NOT! In fact, if something were wrong with me this show could serve as a visual syrup of Ipicac to induce vomiting. Some degree of laudation is understood, even expected, but the level to which GMA takes them is not only  insufferable but downright nauseating.

And just how epic huge can an ego grow? Co-host Robin Roberts has suffered the personal health challenges other Americans have suffered with cancer. Any reasonable person can empathize with that battle, especially where most of have had loved ones who have born that burden.  But Seriously?  What do they do to welcome her back? they have clips from every big name from the TOTUS and Hollywood wishing her well. That show was the puke-fest of all puke-fests.

Now, here we are, Christmas Eve Day…Wife is working from home and she has GMA on the boob tube. And what are they doing? I watch intently and sure enough Another endless smarmy, self-agrandizing Pukefest. “Hey look at us America, we’re wonderful people!” Replete with endless clips showcasing all the wonderful feats and skits from 2013.

So what makes this clique tick?

Josh Elliot
GMA co-host Josh Elliot

Josh Elliot. the married 42-year-old hails from the left coast going from the liberal bastions of academia jumping right into the journalistic endeavor of ESPN and later onto Good Morning America. Brad Paisley’s song, “Im Still a Guy,” seems as though it were written for Josh Elliot. Here is a sample of Paisley’s song lyrics:

“These days there’s dudes gettin’ facials
Manicured, waxed and botoxed
With deep spray-on tans and creamy lotiony hands
You can’t grip a tackle box

Yeah, with all of these men linin’ up to get neutered
It’s hip now to be feminized
But I don’t highlight my hair, I’ve still got a pair
Yeah honey, I’m still a guy

Oh, my eyebrows ain’t plucked, there’s a gun in my truck
Oh thank God, I’m still a guy…”

Josh Elliot, HAND IN YOUR MAN-CARD. And if should you want to keep that man-card, you have to live with the Duck Dynasty guys for at least a month. Like America’s Dad Phil Robertson would say, “Yuppies…”

Lara-spenser
GMA co-host “Princess” Lara Spenser

Lara Spenser. Born Lara Christine Von Seelen, the 44-year-old mother of two came out of high school with an athletic scholarship to Penn State for platform diving. Morphing from mid-affluent roots into the “Artsy-Fartsy Tea and Croissants”culture, aside from GMA host she creates and produces interior design shows for HGTV. Her evolution is complete into “Prinny” (slang for Manhattan Princess). She and her CNN husband reside with their two children in the affluent Greenwich Connecticut community of Riverside…where folks speak in a polysyllabic manner without parting their teeth. She is often lesser smarmy than the others. Still a yuppy.

 

GMA co-host and (Democratic Rump Swab) George Stephanopoulos
GMA co-host and (Democratic Rump Swab) George Stephanopoulos

George Stephanopoulos. the 52-year old son on Greek Immigrants from Fall River, Massachuetts crafted himself early on as a liberal hack. ABC’s token “little munchkin.”

accomodation
accomodation

 

“Steffie” Stephanopoulos worked for the Dukakis Campaign that was later crushed by Willie Horton. His national prominence emerged as White House Communications Director for the Clinton Administration. And in typical liberal fashion, nineteen years ago, Stephanopoulos sealed an $835,000 commercial real estate deal consisting of a two-story apartment including an eyeware retailer with a below-market loan rate from a bank owned by Bill Clinton pal Hugh McColl. Thereafter, a senior bank regulator told reporter Jack Anderson, “If his name were George Smith, and he didn’t work in the White House, this loan wouldn’t have gotten made…” Here is another who needs to hand in the Man-card, shrimp.

GMA co-host "Its great to be me" Robin Roberts.
GMA co-host “Its great to be me” Robin Roberts.

Robin Roberts. The moral conscience and purveyor of humility for the crew….and, arguably one of the most “kissed asses” in America.

The 53-year old Pass-Christian Mississippi native, is a high-level achiever. Her dad was Colonel Lawrence Roberts, a Tuskegee Airman. But she is her own right has laudable achievements. Attending Southeastern Louisiana on a Tennis Scholarship, she graduated cum laude while at the same time, was a star in women’s basketball team, concluding her academics as the school’s third all-time leading scorer and rebounder. Roberts is only one of three Lady Lions to score 1,000 career points and 1,000 career rebounds. Roberts  averaged 15.2 points per game, her Senior year.  In February, 2011, her alma mater hosted a lavish ceremony to retire Roberts’ number 21 jersey.

In the face of adversity, Roberts had that game face.  In 2007, following a breast cancer diagnosis Roberts underwent surgery on August 3, and by January 2008 had completed eight chemotherapy treatments, and nearly seven weeks of radiation treatments. It does not matter who one is or what ones’ station in life is, that is just plain tough. Indeed. But the ass-kissing that followed was…well, epic. like nothing seen in media or Television culture history. Some would argue her high profile served to bring cancer to a new awareness. Agreed. But this epic ass-kissing well surpassed that. Robin Roberts should get a large bronze badge with the phrase, “Its good to be me and not you.” The faux humbleness isn’t fooling me.

American film and television actor and part-time musician Adam Brody nailed the sentiment when he quipped, “I worry that I can come off smarmy. I wonder if I was listening to myself if I’d want to kick my own ass.”

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