Johnny Dearest,
I (M79) took over this job where the guy (M76) before me was loved by all of his crazy fans. He was a total bully who was on social media all the time saying the meanest things about me and my friends. Since I’ve taken over on the job I helped get our troops out of Afghanistan while leaving some mementos as a thank you to our hosts; I stopped climate change by ending the Alaska pipeline and helped us overcome our selfish energy dependency on American oil; I invited all of my South American friends up for a sleep over and let them bring their kids; I helped coordinate and prevent the biggest terrorist attack on American soil on January 6th; I helped Ukrainian, Chinese and Saudi oil companies make billions of dollars; I kept my son out of jail at least a dozen times and even sat through some of his amateur movies (and they are AMATEUR); I helped bring back racism while getting rid of those offensive black and brown faces on syrup bottles, rice boxes, and butter so we can eat in peace; I fell UP-stairs three times and off my bike and still showed up for work the next day; I defunded the border wall so we could put up some stylish fencing around the Capitol and White House; I authorized my head law enforcement officers to protect teachers and kids from parents who suddenly have a problem with pedophilia; I showed how inflation is actually good for the economy and I jailed journalists and some of his (M76) stupid friends while helping felons and criminals get back on the streets and do meaningful work. AITA?
Signed,
FJB“46”
**************
Dear FJB“46”,
YTA.
Bigly.
-Johnny
Reddit Lexicon:
- AITA – Am I The Asshat? (better word to be kid-friendly)
- M79 – Male 79 years old
- M76 – Male 76 years old
- YTA – You’re the Asshat!
