“Green” Cleaner Responsible for Blaze

by Steve MacDonald

Kool aid burning with citris cleanerThankfully no one was hurt but talk about an eye opener.

Fire Lt. Kenneth Vincent said with the increase in people using “green” cleaning products, the number of chemical combustion fires is on the rise.

Those are two words that should make any Birkenstock wearing, free-trade-latte-drinking-tree-hugging-Kashi-eating-granola junkie shudder – ‘chemical fire.’

That can’t be good for the environment, right?

Fires on the rise; throwing smoke and particulates into the air–all because someone wanted to ‘do their part’ by switching to a citrus cleaner.  Little did we know we were inviting another environmental nightmare into our homes!

Cue dramatic music!

Cue woman screaming!

So what kind of carbon big-foot print does burning up an entire mobile home and its contents create compared to scrubbing off the occasional dried up Arctic Green Apple flavored Kool-Aid® stain from the counter top with the Department of  “you better do what we say or else” approved environmentally friendly ring remover?  Has anyone done the math on the big old global carbon P & L to see if we’re still in the black?

I can’t use less than one piece of toilet paper, someone help me out here.

Does Al Gore need to pay his own company to plant some trees in a third world armpit run by greedy, militant, socialist despots so as to offset the contamination cased by green-cleaner chemical fires or are we just going to blame big-business and corporate greed.  (Steve waits patiently to punch his victimization score card complete with hanging chads.)

And is this just another example of “green” doing exactly the opposite like plastic bag bans,  banning light-bulbs, electric cars, and even wind energy?  Do we just add ‘Green Cleaners’ to the list of toxic things you should use to avoid being harassed by Birkenstock wearing, free-trade-latte-drinking-tree-hugging-Kashi-eating-granola junkies but that will do more damage than the old nasty version that was cheaper, worked better, and was just plain easier to use?

Government used to be cheaper and easier to use.  Well, that’s what the old folk said before they carted them off to make green cleaner out of them.   The government we’ve got now could start burning down at any minute.

Maybe they need stop drinking the Kool Aid® and cut back on all the green.  They can give me some of mine back while they are at it.


H/T Union Leader

Base image ‘Evil Kool Aid man’ from 1.bp.Blogspot.com

Leave a Comment

  • “The government we’ve got now could start burning down at any minute.”
    Love it – where do I sign up to help it spontaneously combust?

    • C. dog e. doG

      Hmmm, add one part citrus cleaner, two parts government, ….
      – C. dog

      • I’ve tried Goo-Gone before, but nothing seems to unstick government from my life!

        • C. dog e. doG

          Going Galt is easier said than done, unless you can afford a swank bungalow in some gulch down in Chilé.
          – C. dog

          • nhsteve

            They use bleach cleanser there too, I hear.

  • C. dog e. doG

    Hey Steve –
    You or Skip should send this over to your pals at Tree Huggies. I’m sure they’ll post it.
    – C. dog

  • coati-boy

    3 fires in 7 years….sounds like an epidemic. Saying that using “green” cleaning supplies leads to fires is like linking being an avid reader to fires – books are made of highly flammable paper, after all. Give me good ol’ patriotic bleach any day…the number 1 cause of accidental poisonings in this country, averaging 8 deaths a year.

    • nhsteve

      So you’re saying the P&L on this is good then?

      Citrus cleaner fits with the Orange you smart narrative? I’ll make a note.

      So how about bag bans, bulb bans, electric cars, etc…?

      • coati-boy

        It’s not a miracle product, but then again, nothing is. The fires are easily preventable, as is bleach poisoning, with a little common sense and precaution. But your hateful invective that these green products are ironically more hazardous is patently untrue.
        Bag bans, bulb bans, etc. have nothing to do with this conversation – why are you bringing them up?

        • C. dog e. doG

          Isn’t bleach bad ‘cuz it’s Euro-normative racist? Maybe we should use some affirmative action cleaner instead. That’ll fix it.
          – C. dog dousing agent orange flames with inanity

          • IWKAGGP

            So if bleach is bad ‘cuz it “makes things white” . . . what about shoe polish? Care to put your mug up on the shoe shine box so we can give it a try dog?


    Some of the greatest cleaners/disinfectants/odor-eliminators I know are some of the simplest: good ole’ baking soda, hydrogen peroxide and rubbing alcohol!

    • C. dog e. doG

      Couldn’t we make a super cleaner by mixing all of these together, then add a dash of distilled vinegar?
      – C. dog NOT trying this one at home ‘cuz it might explode

      • IWKAGGP

        Well I use two of those ingredients, plus a “Secret” third ingredient, to make my home-made scent killer for deer season. Works just as well as those store-bought brands and is a heckuva lot cheaper. Methinks you could mix all three together without getting a reaction that would rival Diet Coke and Mentos!

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