It is a tradition that we complain about the biannual celebration of altering time. Not time itself as in spacetime, but where the hands land on the clock and how that drives everything else about our lives.
And a quick reminder, in case you forgot. It’s only been a year. Last year, CNN used turning the clocks back to remind us about racism. I used CNN’s mule to remind everyone that the things CNN was bitching about were all the result of Democrat urban plantations and that they might want to check their privilege.
Be that as it may, every March, the time Nazis rob us of an hour of sleep and hold it hostage until November. We get it back, but we have to give up our afternoons. It gets dark not long after lunch and for most before they get home from work. I’m not saying I don’t like a leafblower with headlights, and I used to own a riding mower with them, but the yardwork suffers, and – after a fashion, so does sleep.
The first few Saturdays after we fall back, the hum of leaf blowers alights the morning air earlier and earlier. Absent a monolithic and nearly tyrannical association that controls quiet hours in a gated community, odds are good your weekend alarm clock sounds like a gas-powered engine pushing air at several hundred cubic feet per minute.
I happen to be a fan of white noise, so that version is unlikely to get past the fan that’s always running in my room. I get to wait until the morning coffee and the early hour blogging to be serenaded by Husqvarna’s Fuge in D-minor.
Happily, I’ve had an extra hour of sleep, which is good for a day or two at best (and the dog knows nothing of this thing we call time), before I return to my regular scheduled lack of sleep and a burning desire to take their hint and join the chorus.
Pushing a few leaves of my own into large, if not entirely neat, little piles, I can rake onto tarps and drag off into the woods like a mule before it snows.
If you don’t, when the time comes to turn the clocks ahead, your yard will be a matted, impossible blanket of deciduous debris that is nothing if not unfriendly to whatever tool you’ve got in mind to move it.
Not to worry, it’s not racism, but if it bothers you enough, blame the Germans. Moving the clocks around was their idea.
