The secularist high holiday season begins and ends with Halloween. It has become as calendar-consuming as Christmas, with decorations and costumes creeping onto store shelves months before the magical day arrives.
When I was a kid, Halloween was a kid’s holiday. We had cheap costumes with cheap plastic masks that pinched our faces until fidgeting and time (15-20 minutes) made the elastic break.
Halloween was always on Halloween, and there were no Hours; sunset to however late, people stayed up to give you sweets. Every year we had candy to last until at least Easter.
It was about kids, for kids. And we made some better costumes as we got older until we were too old and stopped doing that.
But somewhere along the way, the demographic shifted. Or, more likely, as with kids’ birthday parties in New England, it just became another excuse for grownups to have a party of their own.
It has since become a grownup fantasy, cosplay, cash-cow Kraken! Every year stores pop up to sell paraphernalia to the masses before vanishing. There’s the usual scary fare and then a long list of things like Sexy Snow White. Sexy dog catcher. Sexy unvaccinated, recently unemployed pissed-off nurse considering a lawsuit and Sexy Lawyer.
You get the idea.
And this year, we also get “Karen.” Not Sexy Karen, just – Karen.
and the scariest costume goes to… pic.twitter.com/AgCXEeE7SX
— Helen Shivers (@thecroakerqueen) October 3, 2021
Modeled after the COVID Karen, this version includes a wig and glasses. It’s obviously a novelty cash grab but then so is all of Halloween these days (but at least next year, any surplus Karen costumes can be relabeled ‘Jennifer Aniston.’)
For this Karen costume to be effective, I think it needs a few “cloth or medical” masks, a face shield, some hand sanitizer, bleachy wipes, a box of nitrile gloves, and maybe her phone is ready to dial the local rat-your neighbors out hotline number.
I suppose you can embellish this yourself, well, of course, you could, complete with the accusing finger.
You’re not wearing a mask! Get away from me. Six feet away! Do it! Have you had your shot? Let me see your vaccination card. Can’t you read? No leaving your table without a facemask! I saw you with six other people in your backyard, and NO ONE was distancing!
Karen, Karen, Karen…
Anyone who has ever encountered an actual Karen during peak stupid knows the young lady pictured has not begun to capture the horrifying nature of these beasts. (Find any democrat legislator if you’re still interested in this quest.)
We’re talking about people who would cross an empty parking lot to get in your face and whine about you not wearing a mask.
You know this town (city, county, state) has a mask mandate!
The appropriate response is, ‘Get off my Lawn!’ If you’re truly feeling it, ask them where in the ordinance (order, etc.) they are granted policing powers? Then hand them a copy (always good to have that for this very purpose) and ask them to point it out.
Or, maybe, since they are irrational, ask why they saw you all by yourself with no one around for hundreds of feet and decided to invade that space to compromise their apparent obsession with “public health.”
Bbblubbhbubbbulllelehuhhh!
Sadly these confrontations rarely rise to a level that would justify the use of pepper spray, which may kill covid germs, though much like masks or distancing (and Karens), the science behind them is a bit sketchy.
My suggestion?
Order a white lab coat for short money online this Halloween and go as a public health expert. If anyone asks, tell them you have the same medical degree as Bill Gates.
That makes you an Expert!
HT | Patriot Newsfeed
