1. I threw a boomerang years ago. I now live in constant fear.
2. You don’t need a parachute to go skydiving. You need a parachute to go skydiving twice.
4. My teacher accused me of plagiarism. His words, not mine.
5. What do you get when you cross the Atlantic with the Titanic? About half way.
7. I, for one, like Roman numerals.
9. Working in a mirror factory is something I can totally see myself doing.
11. I broke my finger last week. On the other hand, I’m okay.
12. You’re not completely useless, you can always serve as a bad example.
13. What’s the difference between a well dressed man on a bike and a poorly dressed man on a unicycle? Attire.
15. How do you find Will Smith in the snow? Look for the fresh prints.
18. I have a stepladder, because my real ladder left when I was a kid.
And the other half of the one liners are here: TrendingViews.co
