A known-wolf terrorist gets out of prison in London on automatic early release. He then attempts more terrorism (knife crimes) but is eventually detained by a fire-extinguisher and a man wielding a Narwhal tusk. It only seems right that we reconsider our self-defense options.
Two people were killed (and three others injured) in the attack before bystanders grabbed whatever was available to prevent further injury or death. Given that only criminals have knives on the streets of London anymore, they made do with what was at hand.
A guy who was with us at Fishmongers Hall took a 5’ narwhale tusk from the wall and went out to confront the attacker. You can see him standing over the man (with what looks like a white pole) in the video. We were trying to help victims inside but that man’s a hero #LondonBridge
— Amy Coop (@theamycoop) November 29, 2019
The gag is, of course, an extension of the joke inspired by USA Today after a 2017 church shooting in Texas.
This crap is going to put me in an early grave. For the love of God… pic.twitter.com/VkuoGzMkX3
— Stephen Gutowski (@StephenGutowski) November 8, 2017
My first response to the choice of self-defense tools was, ‘don’t you need a license to carry a Narwhal tusk in London?’
The authorities have declared it a terrorist attack but are keeping an open mind as to motive.