The Problem with Congress... - Granite Grok

The Problem with Congress…

Mommy, what does Congress do?

Caution: Runaway Meme from the Web… The Problem with Congress as related by Bob:

A cowboy named Bud was overseeing his herd in a remote mountain pasture in Montana. Suddenly a brand new 2019 AUDI Quattro advanced towards him out of a cloud of dust. The driver was a young man named Chris from NH. He was in a Brioni® suit, Gucci® shoes, RayBan® sunglasses and YSL® tie. Chris pulled up to the cowboy, leaned out the window and asked, “If I tell you exactly how many cows and calves you have in your herd, will you give me a calf?”

Challenge accepted

Bud looks at the man, who obviously knows more than the cowboy, then looks at his peacefully grazing herd and calmly answers, “Sure, why not?”

Doing the work

The young upwardly mobile professional parks his car and promptly whips out his Dell® notebook. Quickly he connects it to his Apple iPhone, and surfs to a NASA page on the Internet. There he calls up a GPS satellite to get an exact fix on his location. The he routes the feed to another satellite. That satellite scans the area in an ultra-high-resolution photo.

The young man then opens the digital photo in Adobe Photoshop. ® Then he exports it to an image processing facility in Hamburg, Germany. Within seconds, he receives an email on his Apple iPhone.® The image has been processed and the data stored. He then accesses an MS-SQL® database through an ODBC connected Excel® spreadsheet with email. After a few minutes, he receives a response.

Getting the answer

Finally, he prints out a full-color, 150 page report on his hi-tech, miniaturized HP LaserJet® printer. NH Chris smugly then turns to the cowboy and says, “You have exactly 1,586 cows and calves.”

“That’s right. Well, I guess you can take one of my calves,” says Bud. He watches the young man select one of the animals. Bud looks on with amusement as the young man struggles to first catch it, then stuff it into the trunk of his car.

Returning the favor

Then Bud says to the young man, “Hey, if I can tell you exactly what your business is, will you give me back my calf?”

Young NH Chris thinks about it for a second and then says, “Okay, why not?”

“You’re a Congressman,” says Bud.

“Wow! That’s correct,” says the yuppie, “but how did you guess that?”

“No guessing required.” answered the cowboy.

The nugget of truth

“You showed up here even though nobody called you.

You want to get paid for an answer I already knew.

It was the answer to a question I never asked.

You used millions of dollars worth of equipment trying to show me how much smarter than me you are.

And you don’t know how working people make a living…

You know nothing about cows, for that matter.

This is a herd of sheep.” “Now give me back my dog.”