The non-religious are often skeptical towards Christians that say one thing about divorce (“not!”) and doing (“I’m outtahere!”) and in many cases, rightfully so. David French at The Corner has a good post on this seeming contradiction – but then puts up this chart as part of the explanation:
It’s pretty simple: When it comes to marriage, church attendance matters more than church affiliation.
I’ve often heard the South described as “God-haunted,” in the sense that there are millions of men and women who identify as Christians, who attend church at least semi-regularly, and who at least aspire to live a Christian life as they understand it. Within that “God-haunted” culture is a very large subculture of the “God-fearing,” in the sense that they hold to the orthodox tenets of the faith, attend church regularly, and –furthermore — immerse themselves in the larger life of the church, from Sunday School to mission trips to small-group Bible studies.
It turns out that the God-haunted lifestyle is terrible for marriage. The God-fearing lifestyle is excellent. The reasons are not difficult to discern.
You know, I have had the perfect title roaming around my head for years: “Everything in politics I first learned in church”. As I look around the arena of politics, I have seen the same people in the narthex, sanctuaries, Sunday School rooms, and Fellowship halls country-wide. There is a big difference between those Christians, especially those that are in the “mainline social gospel”, that are merely “Church going” and those Christians that actually live their beliefs (i.e., “walking AND talking the talk”) – just like there is when you view the differences between RRFTSOTP (Republican Republicans For The Sake Of The Party) and the grassroots. In either universe, one set mouths the tenets and oft acts contrary to them and the other actually stands on those principles and acts that way (even if, at times, they screw up).
The difference comes down to this: external appearance vs internalized governance. It shows that those that merely have Christianity “draped over them” have higher divorce rates than those that are more attuned to the teachings they espouse. Same thing
To be sure, that highest rate is nothing to be proud of. I also believe that our “self-esteem / all about ME and MY needs and expectations” culture plays a big role in this. Today, the virtue formerly known as persistent, the virtue formerly known as “promise keeper”, and the virtue formerly known as commitment seem to have all but forgotten (or worse, ridiculed) – too many Christians have forgotten the admonition to be in the world (as a shining light and not hiding that light under a bushel basket) and not of the world. TMEW and I just celebrated #33. Passion and ardor doesn’t last long enoug. Love can flag. Even friendship can diffuse.
Commitment though – yes, that makes the difference. Somehow, we need to get the culture to return to that as well as those other “outmoded” virtues that the Left has been trying their darndest to move us all away from.
