Thrust? Check. Rocket boost? Check. Engine ignitor? Check. Beer ball? Check. Blast Off!

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Spaceballsparty ball
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Lisa Nowak…………………astronaut puppet
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There are some stories that just speak for themselves, with nothing else left to be said. Following on the heals of the Lisa Nowak "astronaut goes postal" (well, almost…) story, we find out that through the years, there have been astronauts that might have flown drunk. You probably already heard the story, but in case you forgot, Frank Morring, Jr., writing in Aviation Week & Space Technology tells us:
A panel reviewing astronaut health issues in the wake of the Lisa Nowak arrest has found that on at least two occasions astronauts were allowed to fly after flight surgeons and other astronauts warned they were so intoxicated that they posed a flight-safety risk.
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The panel, also reported "heavy use of alcohol" by astronauts before launch, within the standard 12-hour "bottle to throttle" rule applied to NASA flight crew members.
We all laugh when considering spaced-out spacemen consuming alcoholic spirits, but, as I learned from this story, the notion of a brew or two in space is serious business. Surprisingly, it is more complicated than one might at first imagine. Anna Davidson, writing at NewSpace.com provides the details:

Beyond the challenge of producing beer in space is the problem of serving it, says Jonathan Clark, a former flight surgeon and now the space medicine liaison for the National Space Biomedical Research Institute in Houston, Texas, US.

Without gravity, bubbles don’t rise, so "obviously the foam isn’t going to come to a head", Clark told New Scientist.

The answer, Dutch researchers suggested in 2000, is to store beer in a flexible membrane inside a barrel. Air can be pumped between the barrel and the membrane, forcing the beer out of a tap. Astronauts could then use straws to suck up blobs of beer (see Beer balls).

Brings back memories, doesn’t it? Er, I mean, huh? What’s a beer ball? Anyway, the prospect of a mile-high buzz in the Last Frontier isn’t all it’s cracked up to be:

Unfortunately for thirsty astronauts, beer is poorly suited to space consumption because of the gas it includes. Without gravity to draw liquids to the bottoms of their stomachs, leaving gases at the top, astronauts tend to produce wet burps.

Then again, that too seems vaguely familiar. Anyway, if one must indulge while in orbit, I suppose this is what I would recommend:

UFO beer

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[All kidding aside, I recommend UFO wholeheartedly, whether in orbit, or not… yet.]

 

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