"How do you do it?" goes the question. "What’s the secret formula?" Some have speculated the black arts might be involved. Perhaps we analyze the entrails of a freshly slaughtered donkey? (What, you were thinkin’ a goat, right?) How many years of scientific analysis went into the method of selection? Many have sought the answer. Few have lived to know… Since the dawning of this blog, countless people (really, because we have no way of knowing) have asked, "How does Granitegrok.com select the prestigious Dope of the Week award?
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Click the link just below to learn our secret. And see who else gets the mantle this week…
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Here goes- Granitegrok.com dares do what others like Coca-Cola won’t- reveal its formula to the entire world! Not since Geraldo Rivera opened Al Capone’s vault has the world waited for an event with such anticipation…
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First you turn on the net and start surfing. Reading. Perusing. Suddenly… Bam! You read something and you just know. Like the old adage about pornography – you can’t explain it, but you’ll know it when you see it- the same applies here. It kinda’ just hits you and you say, this guy’s (or gal) gotta be the "Dope of the Week"!
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Another thing to keep in mind is that some weeks might find us with many "Dope of the Week" winners. There is no limit, as there really is no limit to the amount of dopes one finds out there. And yes, John Kerry could conceivably win the award several times in the same week- it would depend on how many speeches he gives.
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As a working example of how it works, let’s consider this week so far- Jonathan Edwards was named "Dope of the Week" in this prior post. You would think that a national politician giving anti- WalMart speeches in order to curry favor with fading labor union types was dopey enough. Then along comes religious-right loon Pat Robertson running his yap and… Bam! Shazaam! It hits me… time to hand out another "Dope of the Week" title!
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From Reuters:
NEW YORK (Reuters) – Conservative Christian broadcaster Pat Robertson said on Thursday the wave of scorching temperatures across the United States has converted him into a believer in global warming.."We really need to address the burning of fossil fuels," Robertson said on his "700 Club" broadcast. "It is getting hotter, and the icecaps are melting and there is a buildup of carbon dioxide in the air."
Nothing cracks me up more than the global warming crowd ginning up their rhetoric during a heat wave- When it’s winter and a super cold snap, they of course blame that on global warming too(click here for Weekend Pundit DCE’s take, which I tend to agree with). Pat Robertson, ever hungry for face time, has simply hopped on the bandwagon for a piece of the action. This is for him a familiar pattern- every so often he dishes some ridiculous statement and, inexplicably, the news media puts him on- allowing his worn out 15 minutes of fame to linger on and agonize us one more time. I don’t know who’s the bigger dope, Robertson, or the media that gives him a soapbox…