Humor by Howie Carr - You may be a liberal if.....you moonbat! - Granite Grok

Humor by Howie Carr – You may be a liberal if…..you moonbat!

I have listened to The Captain for years – it seems like when he first made the transition to radio.  But he has always been a newspaper guy and his column in the Boston Herald is one I look forward to.  This week’s was fun – a take off on the “If you…..you’re a redneck”.  Instead, a liberal:

  • You may be a liberal if you believe that allowing working people to keep a few more of the dollars they earned themselves is a “boondoggle” and a “gimmick.”
  • You may be a Massachusetts liberal if you think that the annual sales tax holiday weekend “diverts” money from “education,” by which you mean teachers unions, and from “the MBTA,” by which you mean handouts for T hacks who retired with full pensions at age 41.
  • You may be a liberal if you want to string up the dentist who shot Cecil the Lion, but you think the ghouls at Planned Parenthood all deserve Profiles in Courage awards.

  • You may be a liberal if you oppose funding charter schools for inner-city kids even as you send your own children to private schools.
  • You may be a liberal if you support higher taxes but have directed the trustees of your own trust fund to buy only municipal bonds — tax-free munis, that is.
  • You may be a liberal if you want to ban Christmas trees from the public square as you simultaneously demand prayer rooms for the new Muslim “refugees” in public schools.
  • You may be a liberal if you believe that felons and illegal aliens should be allowed to vote, but not the military.
  • You may be a liberal if you believe that George Stephanopoulos and Brian Williams are “journalists.”
  • You may be a liberal if you support open borders, but live in a gated community.
  • You may be a liberal if you didn’t care when John Kerry’s second wife’s first husband’s trust fund bought him a $7.5-million yacht, after which he evaded paying Mass. sales taxes or town excise taxes on it, but when Sen. Marco Rubio spent $80,000 on a fishing boat, that was an “extravagant purchase” of a “luxury speedboat,” as the New York Times fulminated.
  • You may be a liberal if you haven’t attended a candlelight vigil against war and those genocidal CIA drones of George W. Bush since Jan. 20, 2009.
  • You may be a liberal if you think it’s a front-page hate crime for a cop to defend himself against a charging thug, but when an unemployed drug-dealing Mexican burglar guns down three Native Americans in cold blood on an Indian reservation in Montana — nothing to see here folks, move along.
  • You may be a liberal if you think John Kerry deserves a Nobel Peace Prize of his own, just like Yasser Arafat and Barack Obama, for giving the mullahs $150 billion to develop their own nuclear weapons.