Palate Cleanser – Stoned Wallabies Make Crop Circles

by Steve MacDonald

Stoned Wallabies creating crop circles in TasmaniaIn Tasmania the legal production of poppies is a major industry.  According to the BBC they provide about 50% of the worlds legal opium “for morphine and other painkillers.”  Some of the local Wallaby population has taken to digesting the plant and then wandering through the fields high.   This wandering is producing  “crop circles.”  Those worn down designs and mazes visible from the sky, believed by some to be the work of other-worldly beings, but not is Tasmania–It’s the Wallabies.

(Rumor has it they are not all exactly indigenous so this would still technically make them ‘aliens’ crop circles.)

Several thoughts come to mind if this were happening in America.

While this should just be funny, at any moment some animal ‘rights’ activist organization is going to file a lawsuit demanding that the fields be surrounded by a very expensive, very high fence, high enough to keep the Wallabies out (like the one they don’t want along our international borders to keep the illegal aliens from wandering in) and that failing to do so amounts to animal cruelty.  (Some of these activists may be high when they make these claims).

Next a cadre of Ron Paul Supporters will stand up in defense of the Wallabies actual right to poppy consumption, becasue other than a few insignificant crop circles, they aren’t hurting anyone but themselves.

Catholic socialist opinion will be mixed while progressives will want to fine the growers, regulate them into bankruptcy (unless they immediatley donate heavily to their campaigns, accept a billion dollar green jobs bailout–to repair or replace Wallaby (Wallabie?) related damage–and decades of government cover for their now protected Poppy monopoly)…and then either tax the wallabies or identify them as a victim group and send former ACORN Get out the vote volunteers to compensate them for their “distress” while completing absentee ballots in their “names.”

It may be that the animal rights people cop a nutty anyway–even in Tasmania–as that’s what they do so we’ll have to wait and see.  But for now, we’ve got wasted Wallabies hopping around making crop circles.  How is that not funny?

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  • C. dog e. doG

    Don’t forget the Gaia gals, animists, and wiccans will be out amongst the circles deciphering deep meaning from the meanderings of drug-addled marsupials; the Grate Circle of Naked Apes.
    – C. dog tokes on truisms

  • Thats the greatest headline in the history of news!

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