I considered naming this article “The Bluest City,” after Kellerman’s book, The Bluest State. For those unfamiliar with him, he had Adam Sexton’s job, but in Massachusetts. However, I opted for another author, Ann Coulter, who has written several books that are in my parents’ bookcase.
Papers were passed, and property tax balances were settled. I’m pleased to say that I paid my very last penny of property tax ever to a city I’ve come to hate so much. It reminds me of Eugene Hartling Jr., a former coworker in another department who was known for always reporting to work holding a small Dunkin Donuts coffee between his index finger and thumb. One day, he was seen with a medium coffee, and all of us were dying of curiosity until someone asked what the occasion was. His answer was that he had just paid his last child support payment. While child support and property tax are not the same, I feel a connection to this man I haven’t seen in over 20 years. I will elaborate on this personally joyous occasion as escaping from NH’s worst city has multiple benefits in addition to the end of the City’s property tax plantation serfdom and ever looming threat of Mask Madness 3.0.
First, I will shout my excitement from the cyber rooftops about how great it is to no longer be misrepresented in city hall by Alderman Dowd, the oldest and swampiest among his big-spending NTU-endorsed masker peers. I was his opponent in the 2023 election, and someone else can assume that role this fall. Moving to a TOWN, I will have selectmen instead of aldermen, and I already know who has the gavel and met her several times. It’s none other than the state house tour guide and gift shop manager, Ms. Virginia. What a refreshing change from the insufferable Alderman Wilshire! In addition to that, it will be great to have a vote on warrant articles rather than be a victim of Alderman Dowd’s NTU-based agenda.
Almost as great as that is trading in Comrade Mrs. Newman for the well-respected Carol McGuire. After a dry spell lasting many election cycles, I finally have some representation in the House. Of course, it’s a package deal, and I’m also getting Mr. McGuire, a self-admitted Judge Lynn fan who wanted to change House Rule 44, but hey, I’ll take it. He’s still way better than Mr .Newman, a muzzled nincompoop who regularly votes the wrong way and never answers emails. Now, let’s move on to “the other side of the wall,” shall we?
I know that Howard Pearl has his share of critics, primarily for things outside of Concord, and I haven’t yet completed my due diligence on researching his voting record on either side of the wall, but let’s talk about his good qualities. It matters not to me how well he plays guitar or sings, but what he has NOT sponsored, cosponsored, or voted the wrong way on. Did Howard vote(as a rep) to enshrine MassHealth or in support of Rosenwald’s welfare dental plan? Since those bills were voted on before he became a Tim Lang golf buddy, there’s a good chance that he voted correctly. Howard was NOT a cosponsor of the RTK tax, aka HB 1002, nor was he a cosponsor of that stupid Watters bill exempting childcare facilities from property taxes, aka SB 275, or SB 200, Rosenwald’s bill to allow optometrists to administer The Jab, which was signed by the Damn Emperor last year. And as far as I know, Howard has not sponsored any stupid bills that CREATE NEW TAXES(in the form of telecommunications surcharges) or EXPAND BIG GOVERNMENT(in the form of creating new commissions/bureaucracies) as introduced in SB 255 at the behest of the dumb blonde ex-Senator Twitley’s kindred spirits known as New Futures. I will complete my praise for Howard by noting his unblemished senate session attendance record this season in addition to last year’s Veto Day. Oh, “and one more thing,” as Columbo would say. Howard has never said an unkind word about Granite Grok, or at least that I know of.
I suppose the real litmus test for Howard is if he will man up and stand up to Queen Sharon if the occasion warrants it. What I mean by that is doing something either without her prior approval or contrary to her orders. In a 16-8 Senate, there’s more cushion to offset rogue votes(such as Sharon union sympathizing or Denise voting for welfare school lunch or Daryl Abbas voting for pot) than in a 14-10 Senate where almost every vote matters, especially if there’s an absence at roll call time.
This is a decent swap-out for the legislature, but there is a downside in the executive council. Wheeler is definitely the pick of the litter in that important body, which Nurse Terse often calls “the keys to the castle,” and it has been mediocre at best as of late. Swapping him out for Mr Stephen is a downgrade and I certainly won’t be voting for him next year in the primary or in November, should that primary go sideways again. The feeling appears to be mutual as he blocked me a long time ago.
With city elections coming up in the fall, I am thrilled to death to not have to personally care about their results, though I still do care about the well being of all the good people I’m leaving behind as they carry on their battles in the trenches. Nashua is so lost at sea that turning it around would have the probability of coming back from a 3-game deficit in multiple rounds of the playoffs after consecutive crappy seasons. Either way, I will get to watch such a triumph(or more predictably a self-destruction) occur from afar and not have to “weep for the future” like Ferris Bueller’s restaurant host.
