Dear Goffstown/New Boston (and beyond) High School Parents,
What does it mean to be a good parent today? When I was growing up, a good parent was someone who provided for their child—a roof over their head, food on the table, and maybe a bit of help with homework or school projects. A good parent trusted their children to figure things out on their own, because the world was simpler, slower, and frankly, safer than the one we live in today.
Our thanks to Concerned GHS parents for this letter. Send yours to steve@granitegrok.com
But today, being a good parent looks very different. I used to think I was doing everything right, that I was providing my child with everything they needed to succeed—love, security, and guidance. I assumed, like many parents, that having conversations about dangers like drugs and alcohol was enough. We talked about the risks, the long-term consequences, the effects on their physical and mental health. We thought we had covered all the bases.
But something started to feel off. My child, like many teenagers, became more distant. At first, I dismissed it as typical teenage behavior—we were all withdrawn at that age, right? But then, there were signs I couldn’t ignore. More secretive behavior. More time spent locked away in their room. Something in my gut told me something was wrong.
So, I did something I never thought I’d have to do. I bought a drug test. I thought it would help me rule out my suspicions, give me peace of mind. But when I confronted my child with it, their expression changed. In that moment, I didn’t need the test results—I already knew.
We sat down and had a conversation. It wasn’t easy, but it opened my eyes to something that all parents need to know:
- Our kids are not always as responsible as we think.
- These dangerous behaviors—drugs, alcohol, vaping—are happening right under our noses, and right under the noses of school administrators.
- Social media is a major driver of this behavior. These platforms give our children access to people, places, and activities that are hidden, “secure,” and invisible to us.
Let me ask you something: When was the last time you really looked at your child’s phone? Are you even aware of what goes on in their online world? If you were, I promise you, you’d be shocked and horrified. The platforms that seem harmless—Snapchat, Instagram, Discord—are breeding grounds for secretive and sometimes dangerous behavior.
Maybe you’re thinking, “Not my child. My child is a good kid.”
“My child gets good grades and has never given me any trouble.”
“I know where my child is. I have Life360 or Find My Friends on their phone.”
Well, so did we. But even though we knew where they were physically, we had no idea what was happening when they got there. When was the last time you called the parents of the friend’s house your child went to? Are they even home? Do they know that there’s a group of kids drinking, vaping, and throwing up in their bathroom?
This isn’t an exaggeration—this is the reality many of us are dealing with.
And the statistics for New Hampshire are not in our favor. In a report that looked at behaviors between 2021 and 2022, for people aged 12 and above, 16 percent reported using illicit drugs in the prior month.*
Something to keep in mind, you might not even know your child is vaping THC. That’s because it doesn’t smell like weed. Some give off a fruity smell. Some have no smell at all. They’re doing it in your homes/in their bedroom. They’re doing it in the school bathrooms and games and in the park. They’re buying and selling them at school too.
Our kindness, our trust in our children, is being mistaken for weakness.
That’s why I’m urging every parent who reads this to take action. Go online, buy a pack of drug tests, and surprise your child with one. Ask to see their Snapchat, Instagram, or Discord messages. Do some searching in their rooms and backpacks. Be prepared for what you might find. It’s not just about your child—it’s about the company they keep, the pressures they face, and the dangerous situations they may be putting themselves in.
And yes, that includes impaired driving. It’s happening more often than you think.
The only way to put an end to this reckless behavior is to stop letting our kindness be mistaken for weakness. We need to be vigilant, we need to ask tough questions, and we need to take action before it’s too late.
Don’t let another day go by thinking that everything is fine. Our kids need us to step up, now more than ever.
Signed,
Concerned GHS parents
