The latest Epstein email release is a lot to take in. Each new piece of information has the effect of weights on our shoulders and trauma in our hearts. The details are more than most people can bear. I’m a retired sex offender counselor who would like to offer a few bits of advice to process this all.
We are reading, hearing, and seeing information that is beyond our normal processing. Just believing such shocking information is quite difficult. Our minds instantly protect us by denying the real truth, but as we are confronted with the same information repeatedly, our denial is challenged and lost. The truth about hundreds of people around the world participating in extensive child sexual abuse activity, eugenics, and even the murder and cannibalism of children is difficult to take in. It’s certainly easier to deny.
How do we process such horrific information?
A few tips can help you through this emotional process. There are actionable things we can do and mental techniques we can engage in to help.
Becoming grateful for what YOU have is one way to process this negative information. These events are not happening to YOU. These events are in the past. They ARE being addressed, even if it’s not at the speed you prefer. To take control of your emotions, you may wish to engage in some sort of advocacy or support. You may communicate your views via social media, seek counseling, volunteer or donate to related agencies, or you may simply silence your voice, watching, even avoiding. We have options.
When upset, start by grounding yourself. Become aware of who and where you are. WE aren’t the physical victims; the children are the ones who experienced this. We can speak up for them, but we have not experienced their experiences. WE are ok. The children are either with God or have survived and continue to have our support into adulthood. Are there some children likely still in this situation, yes, but our awareness and advocacy will lead to the end of these atrocities, not to their growth.
Know you are in a world that offers everything, the good AND the bad. The way to the good is to concentrate on it. Have it be in your thoughts and your actions. Think and DO good things. You can only change your OWN behavior, despite your desire to change others. One person at a time, improving themselves, helps the whole world. Saving yourself saves us from having to try to save you. You will easily see the good when your own actions reveal it. So look inward and take accountability for yourself. Think of ways to improve yourself and your world. When you begin to take the steps, the feelings of positive control will build your confidence. You DO have the power to make things better.
You CAN control how you think, because you decide what you say to yourself. Choosing your “Epstein approach” ahead of time will spare you a lot of negative thinking. Challenge yourself when you slip away from your planned self-talk. Stick with the approach you chose. Your predetermined statements should be based in reality and be generally positive. Say planned statements to yourself that are palatable. It will keep you sane.
Needing time to mourn and grieve these losses is expected. Crying, getting angry, and even having no words, are all natural reactions. We can’t receive this type of information and simply move on. Even if we’ve never heard the names of any of these victims, they are still our brothers and sisters in life. Knowing some of what happened is enough for us to KNOW them. We know they are not ok. What was done to them is not ok. The world is not ok because this has happened. But our own lives need to continue while this is still not ok. We must process the details and continue to exist. So, Live, Be, Know. But YOU are not living the negative experience of those children. You are the lucky one who missed living through THAT. You have rejected it and are now advocating against it, leading to its end. Your life was spared. Be grateful that you are safe and will be doing your part in preventing it from happening around you. See the blessings that you DO have. Concentrate on them.
There are an infinite number of actionable things you can do to help. Call your local, state, and federal representatives and demand accountability for the offenders and for stronger boundaries around our children. Support agencies that support abuse victims. You can become foster parents or adoptive parents to at-risk children. You can become a CASA advocate, a respite provider, or even a substitute teacher. We can all do actionable things to prevent one child at a time from becoming a victim. Create safe environments for children without ANY grooming or sexual boundary violations. That is what you CAN do. Vow to keep kids safe.
We won’t be supporting the exposed participants, and we expect their organizations to suffer. Banks will be affected, and large corporations we once thought of as positive will have a new meaning to us. Victoria’s Secret, for example. The organization’s leaders have been revealed as participating in Epstein’s activities. This will likely permanently ruin their image. Businesses will shut down because WE no longer support THAT. Consequences WILL happen. We can reject this on multiple levels.
I warn people to avoid repetitive sexual thoughts or the reliving of any of the specific abuse details, as these thoughts lead to trauma reactions or even odd physical reactions. Reliving the details repeatedly through your thoughts carries it and keeps it alive. Self-talk statements of your reality are more helpful. Thought statements like…“I’m so glad Epstein was stopped.” “The truth is exposed.” “I will never participate in this type of behavior.” These are the types of realistic repetitive thoughts you should allow yourself to have. Obsessing over any particular details is a dangerous approach to take. It helps no one. Ending the practice of child abuse isn’t solved by your pain, it’s solved by new belief systems and incarceration/treatment of child abusers. It’s solved by everyone refusing to participate in it’s practice.
Widespread agreement to end the grooming and sexualization of children will help. Creating improved boundaries around children will help. Strong judicial responses to offenses with long term sex offender treatment and incarceration will help. Attitudes and actions will make it happen. We will simply not accept the behavior any longer. It’s fully rejected. Abusing kids will no longer be a thing. One by one, the Jeffery Epstein’s and the Sean Diddy Combs’ of this world will being exposed and stopped. The people and organizations that supported these criminals are being revealed. This practice of abuse is legitimately coming to an end through justice systems and belief systems. It IS being rejected.
Remember, this wasn’t a TV crime show, we aren’t done with learning about the details or lining up all of the accountability. The fallout from these revelations will continue. People will still be arrested, lose their jobs, and their status. Their lives WILL change. More abusers WILL be revealed and there will be more information to process. A few will think they got away with it, but karma or God always resolve such cases, in my opinion. This disgusting practice of abuse IS coming to an end. Humanity HAS spoken. We have openly agreed that these ARE “Crimes Against Humanity”. So look within to imagine the world we want and take personal actions to get there. Set boundaries, set goals, set the standard. Do the actions. Be the future as you see it.
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