Nightcap - It's In Everything Else, How About a"Pumpkin Spice" Jab? - Granite Grok

Nightcap – It’s In Everything Else, How About a”Pumpkin Spice” Jab?

Covid 19 pumpkin spice

Two weeks ago, the rubber-stampers of grants (over $5K) in the great state of New Hampshire authorized a large bucket of money for marketing. They approved 844,000.00 dollars in “free money” to sell people on the idea of getting The Jab™! Talk about an irony alert double-tap.

The money (from the feds) is not free, and the Jab is, well, The Jab™. That which Taliban Joe is keen on mandating though we’ve yet to see how. Perhaps OSHA can add a ministry of Vice and Virtue policed by public health inquisitors tasked with making sure you are “wearing” your hi-JAB.

Hijab – hiJAB, it almost works if only because the connotation is on the mark.

Papers, please? No papers, to jail with you. We’ve got plenty of empty rooms since we’ve set all the rapists, robbers, and murderers loose ‘cuz, um…COVID, or something.

Why didn’t you listen to the advertising? It was a great campaign with people in white coats or scrubs needling you into getting stabbed once or twice with the mystery formula ‘x,’ which – in keeping with the theme of COVID Politics – does none of the things we promised.

No, HiJAB for you? What if we told you it came in pumpkin spice?

She’s the rounder oompah-loompah-ish spice girl who sings you a song.

 

Oompa Loompa doompadee dab
I’ve got to warn you, don’t get the Jab
It won’t do a damn thing for you
It can’t prevent you getting the flu.

If you’re a kid it could swell up your heart
Clog all your veins and then make that heart stop.
Just like the virus, it made in a lab
Health-y Peop-le Don’t Need. The Jab.

Fourteen thousand dead so far…

 

Whoops, wrong lyric.

I guess we’ll stick with the people in white coats or scrubs. Did you know that you can buy a lab coat for short money on Amazon, and then you too can look like the sort of person in one of those ads encouraging you to get The Jab™?

Hi. I’m some random person of color in a white lab coat. More than likely a woman. And I’m also an actor. But you are supposed to believe me when I say intelligent medical-like things about how the Jab is this or that.

Hey there, I’m dressed like a nurse, and I’m here to tell you – not that half of the folks in my occupation don’t want this thing but that you should get it ‘cuz reasons.

Reasons.

Well, we have our reasons too, and if the government gets militant enough about their position to try and force it upon ours, I’m sure there are more than a few folks willing to reach for a few boxes of these.

Pumpkin spice in everything...
Pumpkin spice in everything…

And yes, I know they are not real. This is satire. Stop taking everything, especially your pointless Jab and this flu so damn serious. Ever after the mewling over COVID, over 98% of folks who test positive survive the experience.

Hardly grounds for mass vaccination, no matter what the “flavor.”

 

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