I didn’t make this up. This is a real thing.
Transgender activists are upset that the women’s march over the weekend was not inclusive to biological men who identify as women, as the protest presented an “oppressive message” that having a “vagina is essential to womanhood.”
I’m going to have to agree with the hateful cis-gendered harpies on this one. A vagina is essential to womanhood.
If it bothers you why not just think yourself into being a cat? What, that’s a stretch? And what’s wrong with cats? Egyptians used to worship cats. Some vagina owners have married cats. You could share the word pu**y and be all inclusive. Just knit yourself a little pink cat hat and fit right in.
Sorry about that knitting thing, that might be sexist. Or maybe not. Ladies all across the country just took up their free time knitting little pink hats so they could self-identify as women with vaginas who have the right to knit pink hats and to make embarrassing signs about their “genitals.” For the invasion of the Vaginanauts. Not to be confused with vagina-nots, who are the men who think they are women sans-vagina who might be better off thinking they were cats.
And now that I’ve thought about it nothing can be sexist or bigoted in a world where a vagina is not essential to womanhood and gender roles are random revolving points on the wheel of misfortune.
Wait. Have you considered just knitting a vagina? You could make vagina coasters, potholders, pillow covers, hanging plant holders, even holiday sweaters. The cis-gendered harpies who dis-gendered you over the Vaginanauts thing might pay top dollar.
Of course, then you’d be using vaginas for profit which makes you either a sex trafficker, planned parenthood, a Democrat politician or a progressive activist. Maybe all of the above.
But if you make enough money, you could fund your own parade.
You might have to pick a different color for your hats. Can I suggest tinfoil?
