Veterans Day– A Gold Star Mother’s Thoughts…

Growing up in the  small city of Dover, N.H. scarcely ten years after WWII had ended we youngsters saw daily evidence of  what happens in war. On the corner of Washington St. and Central Ave. a young man who  had lost both legs in the war sat on a wheeled platform barely three inches off the sidewalk and sold pencils for a living.  He was part of the landscape of my childhood with the full significance of his sacrifice not understood by my young mind but fifty years later as I recall the overwhelming loss that man endured and how it must have changed the course of his life it hits me. Writing this it chokes me up because now I understand the courage it took him to face his life on a day to day basis. He sacrificed his legs so that kids like me could hula hoop and rock and roll without fear.

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Back then Veterans Day was marked for us kids by a day off school and a parade. The nuns at St. Mary’s taught us the history of the day with the fact about the eleventh hour on the eleventh day of the eleventh month fascinating me. There was a certain calming neatness to those numbers that ended that awful "war to end all wars".

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Over the following years with one thing after another effecting it Veterans Day seemed to fade somewhat in significance and I, like so many others, treated it as just another day. Oh, I gave some thought to the men who fought, after all my father was one of them and my son was on active duty but considering the world’s makeup at the time , with the military being reduced and all ,the day passed with just a small tilt of the head. If you can think about holidays as colors Veteran’s Day would be gray. Maybe because its in the cold, gray month of November but it doesn’t have the same pizzazz or the color of, say July 4th or Memorial day, with their cookouts and fireworks.

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And, maybe, given the solemnity of the day that’s just how it should be.

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The complacency that had returned after 9/11 ended abruptly for my family in June two years ago when my son, Dan Healy was shot down in a helicopter by the Taliban and Al Quada while on a rescue mission.  Even writing this today, typing those words,  it seems surreal. How did a youngster from a little town in New England like Exeter ever end up in the mountains of an exotic, foreign country like Afghanistan? Simple. He joined the Navy and became a Navy SEAL. Then the bad guys – as he called them-blew up two buildings in NY.

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At the time Dan was safely working on SDVs, swimmer delivery vehicles, out of Pearl Harbor. I was relieved because after all there wasn’t much water in Afghanistan. But having trained to be a warrior Dan was chomping at the bit considering all his buddies had gone and he wanted to put his training to use.  It took him three years to figure out how but he finally got assigned to go to Afghanistan. It was only for six months and as his Aunt Margaret always said, "He was six feet tall and bulletproof." so we didn’t worry too, too much. Halfway through that deployment his rescue team for Operation Redwing was hit by an RPG and all on board were killed.

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From that day forward every day became Veterans Day for us. It was more than a gray, distant day to commemorate men who fought in a distant war.

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Since then the entire family has found ways to honor Danny. His children, Jake, Chelsea, Jazzi and Sasha have by being respectful, generous individuals, who are doing well in school and with the loving guidance of their mothers’ families, keeping his memory alive. Last week his daughter Chelsea, who lives in San Diego, packed all of her Dad’s mementoes when she evacuated because of the fires. His son, Jake excels at football. The youngest girls, besides practicing piano and dance, attend many functions at Pearl Harbor for their dad. All are a credit to the love and devotion he had for them and he would surely be glowing with pride.

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His "Irish twin" sister, Jennifer has a singularly close relationship to Dan’s children as she did with Dan and escorts them to events taking place in his memory. His other sister, Shannon, has spoken at several ceremonies honoring veterans and traveled to New York, California and Washington State to attend events remembering her brother. Our entire family has put on a golf tournament to benefit his children and to also  give a small scholarship to a student from his alma mater, Exeter High School.

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And the day after I heard the news about my only son I vowed to do whatever I could in my limited power to show support  for the troops and their mission because I know how strongly Danny felt about the situation. I know – not just feel it- know that the terrorists will do whatever is necessary to destroy us because they hate the very thing that ironically is aiding them the most- our freedom. Its a source of amazement and sadness to this Gold Star mother that this entire country isn’t united in its anger and determination against people who have not only blown up innocent Americans but continue to blow up innocent women and children in their own regions. I can’t understand why, given the compassion of this nation, that there’s not a huge outcry from a united America against this injustice, particularly when, as far as the terrorists are concerned, we’re next! 

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As free people we understand how our rights work and exercise them through many media outlets but the "bad guys" laugh at us, figure the spoken division weakens us as a people, takes the spotlight off their nasty deeds and makes them stronger. My Danny died trying to prevent them from succeeding. My mission is to continue his.

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Shannon suggested using the phrase "Home of the Free- Thanks to the Brave" on a banner at Dan’s memorial. That phrase sorta sums it up. I , and millions of other baby boomers, had a peaceful, safe childhood because of men like the pencil seller sacrificing his legs and hundreds of thousands of other American men sacrificing and dying to preserve our way of life. Every veteran who has served deserves to be remembered and thanked for without what they have done and continue to do  essays like this couldn’t be written or published. It?s because of men like Dan that we can safely pursue our lives and that a million people can safely gather to greet the World Series winning Red Sox. Veterans bought days like that for us with their youth, limbs and lives.
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So, maybe Veteran’s Days isn?t gray after all. Maybe, what it really is and should be for all of us is a Red Letter Day.
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Nat Healy