Yesterday I did a Morning Update on so-called news outlets whining (and suing) over being evicted from the White House. Boo Hoo. There’s no right to be anywhere, especially when what you excel at is lies and hoaxes, and there are plenty of receipts.
One of those networks, CNN, is past struggle sessions and fearing for their professional lives. Yes, there have been plenty of episodes of “cleaning house” at CNN. The network that excels at lies and hoaxes also likes to lose money, so previous fiscal enemies have removed more than a few personnel from the Colon News Network. But the Paramount Warner Brothers reckoning is about to arrive.
“People are very nervous,” one CNN staffer told the outlet. “It’s dark. It’s like when you do hurricane coverage. You see the storm spinning off the coast of Haiti and moving towards Florida and you’re just waiting and you’re like, ‘Oh, s–t’.”
“Bloodbath coming, including at CNN,” a TV executive confided. “That’s the next big step — slashing and burning,” while others also drew death-by-takeover comparisons.
The blue-state crime bosses doing business as governors had set up a regulatory blockade that broke when Paramount said F-you, we’re leaving California. Newsom must be the current head of that crime family, because why would any other blue state care if California lost billions in annual tax revenue? And who’s to say that after the merger ink is dry, they won’t skip off to a more fiscally friendly red state.
No guarantees.
Decks cleared, merger confirmed, and CNN (among others) thinks it is in the crosshairs. They must be convinced that the decades of stellar work they’ve done driving the brand into the toilet won’t be seen for its true value by the new “owners.”
David Ellison might have Trump connections, but his job isn’t to lose his stockholders’ money and let late-night reruns of fifties serials get better ratings than some of what CNN calls “programming.” It’s actually, kind of why you’re getting bought up. Being who you are made it inevitable.
Who would have thought that what you believe isn’t profitable?
Buck up. There’s plenty of openings on the internet for another left-wing mouthpiece. Think: infinite left-wing monkeys with an infinite number of internet connections, and with the rise of all these DSA assholes, your podcast will have ample opportunity to fight with all the other proglodyte talking heads for progressive clicks and bloodshot eyeballs.
I mean, it’s too bad what happened at MSNOW, or they might have more openings. Spun off to wade the shallow blue waters of left-wing intellectualism on their own (sort of). Forced to cut staff and salaries.
You all could start a support group or join BLM or Antifa; you’ve been running their communications arm for years. Gives you something to do when you’re not drinking box wine and crying to your cat.
Maybe Start a Substack. At least one of you ought to be able to generate enough revenue to get by. Maybe not the millions you were raking in as a left-wing propagandist meat puppet, but enough for rent and the occasional takeout or drive-thru “dinner out.”
Who knows, it might force you to get back to your roots. Do some actual journalism. Or you could whine on Bluesky for cash. Sex work is always an option, and since you’ve prostituted yourselves out to the Democrat Party for so many years, it’s more or less a lateral move, professionally. Hiding illegal aliens from ICE?
Too bad they stopped offering PPP loans. You could have gotten in on some of that fraud.
Maybe start a J Skool Learing Center?
Or maybe – just a suggestion. Do the news straight, without all the left-wing slant and propaganda. We don’t need a right-wing news network, but one that gives both sides equal time and lets viewers decide. We could use more of those. You might even turn a profit or something.
Note: No, I don’t think the so-called independent committee forced on them will have much impact. Just call it budget cuts.
