How Long Before Nanny Bloomberg Gets To Ban This?

by Steve MacDonald

The odds that the nanny-state will have to contend with this potential threat of an obesity catalyst are, well, thin, but the feminazis..well that’s another story…

Pizza hut perfume, the smell of fresh backed pizza in a bottle

Can I get an Eau du Large Fries with that please?

Yes, it’s true. Pizza Hut is now selling its own line of perfume.

The top pizza chain announced Tuesday the release of “Eau du Pizza Hut.” a new fragrance from the Canadian branch of Pizza Hut that aims to capture “the smell of a box of Pizza Hut pizza being opened.”

I can think of a lot of scents I’d like to smell on a woman but isn’t the smell of fresh baked bread (or in this case baked pizza dough) a bit sexist?  Why not a scent that exudes the comfort of freshly laundered clothing or something that’s just been ironed, or the oil on the chain that reaches from the laundry room to the kitchen and the bedroom ?

The smell of that particular oil is actually very arousing.  Now if I could just figure out how to get the manacle off my ankle.

Enough about me.

Eau du Pizza Hut?  Oh Canada!  Do you have that in Thick pan Bacon, Onion and Pepperoni?

Sorry, it’s only one scent, and only available in limited supply, and only on Facebook (as a giveaway incentive to FB ‘Friends’ if I read correctly), but you never know.  It could become more popular than Gangnam Style, and then what?   You’re standing in line waiting to collect your government check and all you can smell is fresh baked pizza?

Who wants to smell like a pizza anyway?  Who are you trying to attract?  Is it something a modern day Rubens would wear in his quest for models with the proper girth, or was a bit of the right kind of ripe cheese (as in the old days) more than adequate to draw a crowd suitable for such employ?

These are pressing cultural questions.

If Eau du Pizza Hut is successful, and in a world with a cultural phenom like  Honey Boo Boo (not a bad choice of celebrity sponsor by the way) there are no limits anymore.  Should we expect other food chains to market their own distinctive scents?  I’m partial to McDonald’s for no particular reason, and it’s not like my wife needs to smell like a Cheeseburger to get my unwanted attention, but if I was single would a woman who smelled like French fries, or a well seasoned steak (or even pulled pork for that matter) inspire curiosity, allure, or just make me hungry for my next meal?

Wouldn’t food scented perfumes just make us fatter?

It might facilitate an increased desire to consume those specific products, pissing off the anti commercialism crowd some more.  “you’re using these people as unpaid marketing mules to grow your bottom line.”  Sure, but tools who not only volunteered! but paid for the privelage to more-than-likely grown their own mid-lines in the process.

Or would any food do, as in, how decriminalizing marijuana would probably  increase the consumption of whatever happens to be nearby, even if it is a bit green, or a bit freezer burned, but similar enough to the typical sketch artists pencil-drawing of an eyewitness description of a pork chop to be worth the risk?

Imagine food perfumes in a state that legalized marijuana?

Better yet, cops could wear them to find out who was high in the states that have not legalized it.  Entrapment or just a lifestyle choice?

Would some people over apply them and then scrub them off the way Bulemic’s binge and purge?

Note to modern liberal leaning women everywhere: If you want to smell like a food to attract a man may I suggest fresh cooked bacon?  It’s not just a great smell that men love, it’s poetic to boot.  If you want to be treated like a piece of meet (ala Sluts vote) you might as well smell like one.

Anyway, who is to say how this will develop but you do have to admit if Mayor ‘Nanny’ Bloomberg thought for one moment that it was going to affect the waistlines of his over-taxed citizens he’d be banning it faster than you can say “Sixteen ounce soda.”  That’s just how he rolls.  Rolls.  Fresh baked rolls?

Mmmmm, those do smell good.  Maybe the people at Pizza Hut are on to something.





Leave a Comment

Previous post:

Next post: