[More UPDATES after the jump] This one: 8/11/21
When people are keen on having you show them something “covid related,” we thought, why not give our readers something to show them (other than the middle finger). So we have invented the COVID19 Control Group Member Record. It’s a passport for the unvaccinated and you can get some today!
[Update] The final version is available with a donation as follows.
Get 3 Cards for a $10 donation
Get 6 Cards for a $15 donation
UPDATE III: Bumped from 8/8/21. The newer version of the Paypal code for donations seems to be working fine – many thanks to all you patient readers that put up with the inconvenience. Please make sure that you do put in your mailing address. Or just email me at Skip@GraniteGrok.com.
Update [Update] From Skip – In setting up this newest donation menu, Paypal changed the code generation process and eliminated the Shipping Info field that USED to be present.
I really hate to do this, but I’ll need you to email me with your shipping address/qty at email@example.com
Very sorry but I’ll be trying to figure out how to get that field back. Sorry for the double work!
Please provide an email address and the delivery address when completing your donation AND MAKE A NOTE THAT THE DONATION IS FOR THIS “Passport!” (otherwise, we may think it’s a Donation for the sake of helping us out. Either way, THANKS!).
If you do not want to use PayPal or a credit card you can snail-mail a donation. Email firstname.lastname@example.org for that address.
Original publication date Aug 5, 2021
Printed on card stock to mimick some versions of the so-called vaccine passport, the Control Group Member Record is an official document proving you not only believe in science, but you have volunteered to see science done right.
You can’t have a human test trial without a control group—people who either did not get the thing or got a placebo.
That’s you, and this is your “passport.”
Write in your name, and boom!
We’ve even included partial definitions of well-known protections against forced medical testing and health privacy, as well as an optional spot for your lawyer’s contact info “they” have more questions.
If someone has a pen or pencil handy, they can write that last bit down before you stroll off to do whatever you were trying to do before Karen interrupted you. Maybe.
We recommend whistling a peppy little tune as you walk away, whichever way that happens to be.
This document is equally meaningful and meaningless in every jurisdiction where they read English and possibly more effective where they don’t.
You accept any and all liability, entertainment, and or amusement by using it. We’re just stepping up to be a vehicle for your continued triggering of covidiots and their water carriers.