There’s no getting away from this. Sunlight is bad. It’s bad for plants. Why? Because plants that get sunlight emit ozone. Trees are the biggest culprits. So we need to regulate sunshine as only suitable for taxpayer backed solar farms that keep the sun from getting to the plants. Got it?
https://twitter.com/paulyballgame/status/648972814108782592
Wait. EPA has had a change of heart, sort of…
Correction: Sunny days are good for plants, but ground-level ozone is not. Sunlight helps ozone to form. http://t.co/kyFxKK2e89
— U.S. EPA (@EPA) September 30, 2015
But, but, but… you said sunlight hitting plants creates ground-level ozone. You said this was bad for the plants. So what if that sounds crazy and they’ve been doing it for billions of years we have to do something!
I’ve got it. Let’s waste hundreds of billions of dollars on shade advocacy. It could be the next big thing in environmental fraud. You could do research on managing the amount of sunlight that hits, well – anything. EPA and NSF will need a million to three million auditors (each) collecting obscene salaries (and generous benefits) to write, deploy, and evaluate shade management policies they will create out of not-so-thin, ground-ozone choked air.
Colleges can start schools of shade diversity to pump out legions of experts on all manner of shady practices. These ‘experts’ can start or consult for shady non-profits and shady businesses, all of whom get multi-million dollar taxpayer funded grants issued by shady bureaucrats to produce shady research to arrive at shady conclusions in support of shady Government-approved “solutions” that spend even more tax dollars…
I know, I’m too late. We’re already there and we’ve been there for a while.
