T-Bone's Imaginary Presidential Campaign Runs Out Of "Other People's Money" - Granite Grok

T-Bone’s Imaginary Presidential Campaign Runs Out Of “Other People’s Money”

File under “You can’t make this stuff up.” In a statement uncharacteristically honest for a Democrat, Cory Booker suspended his (or was it T-Bone’s) imaginary Presidential campaign this morning with the statement that the campaign had quite literally run out of (other people’s) money – via WSJ:

“Our campaign has reached the point where we need more money to scale up and continue building a campaign that can win—money we don’t have, and money that is harder to raise because I won’t be on the next debate stage and because the urgent business of impeachment will rightly be keeping me in Washington.”

Booker initially rose to fame after he fought for and eventually won the mayoral race for Newark NJ, a place which has been badly run by Democrats for a long time. He was noticeably hands-on, especially in the self-promotion department, having an uncanny knack for showing up at disaster sites like burning houses, and “lending a hand.” As his reputation got more publicity, it was learned that he had an imaginary friend “T-Bone,” then when we arrived at the Kavanaugh hearings, we learned his imagination was even more fevered when Booker tried to assume the mantle of Spartacus! Please.

Finally, we learn the truth: His presidential campaign was always as illusory as his friend T-Bone, and with Democrats, the one thing you can be sure of is that you will run out of other people’s money!

But there’s even more essential truth in the news this morning – quickest on the draw when the news broke, was not the gangsters of Newark, but the satire site Babylon Bee, with a masterful piece on Booker weeping as he received his participation trophy from the DNC – so close to the truth that it’s almost real news!

Babylon Bee – So close it’s almost the truth – On Cory Booker’s DNC Participation Trophy!

A snippet:

“This is a big deal,” said DNC chairperson Tom Perez. “Not every candidate gets one of these. Well, actually they do, but not all at the same time, so that makes it special.”

At the award ceremony, Booker made no effort to hide his emotions during his two-hour acceptance speech. “I just wish there was some way to share this with all of you who took your hard-earned money and backed a candidate with no real chance of getting the nomination,” said a tearful Booker……

Read the whole thing at the ‘Bee.