Friday Humor - Blonde jokes - Granite Grok

Friday Humor – Blonde jokes

(H/T: Sue – a blonde)

Blonde Cookbook

 

 

It’s fun to cook for Tom. Today I made angel food cake. The recipe said beat 12 eggs separately. The neighbors were nice enough to loan me some extra bowls.

Tom wanted fruit salad for supper. The recipe said serve without dressing. So I didn’t dress.  What a surprise when Tom brought a friend home for supper

A good day for rice. The recipe said wash thoroughly before steaming the rice. It seemed kind of silly but I took a bath anyway.  I can’t say it improved the rice any.

Today Tom asked for salad again I tried a new recipe. It said prepare ingredients; lay on a bed of lettuce one hour before serving.  Tom asked me why I was rolling around in the garden..

I found an easy recipe for cookies. It said put the ingredients in a bowl and beat it. There must have been something wrong with this recipe. When I got back, everything was the same as when I left.

Tom did the shopping today and brought home a chicken. He asked me to dress it for Sunday.  I don’t have any clothes that fit it, and for some reason Tom keeps counting to ten.

Tom’s folks came to dinner. I wanted to serve roast but all I had was hamburger. Suddenly I had a flash of genius.. I put the hamburger in the oven and set the controls for roast. It still came out hamburger, much to my disappointment.

GOOD NIGHT DEAR DIARY. This has been a very exciting week! I am eager for tomorrow to come so I can try out a new recipe on Tom. If I can talk Tom into buying a bigger oven, I would like to surprise him with a chocolate moose.

 

 

 

 

Don’t like the fact that I picked on a blonde WOman?  Fine, keep reading…

Two Blonde Guys

It’s not too often that you hear a joke about blond guys…

Two blonde guys were working for the city works department. One would
dig a hole and the other would follow behind him and fill the hole in. They
worked up one side of the street, then down the other, then moved on to
the next street, working furiously all day without rest, one guy digging
a hole, the other guy filling it in again.  

An onlooker was amazed at their hard work, but couldn’t understand
what they were doing.
 
So he asked the hole digger, "I’m impressed by the effort you two are
putting into your work, but I don’t get it — why do you dig a hole, only
to have your partner follow behind and fill it up again?"
 

The hole digger wiped his brow and sighed,  "Well, I suppose it probably
looks odd because we’re normally a three-man team.  But today the guy
who plants the trees called in sick."

Hey, if one is fine, two is dandy, let’s go overboard! 

 

A young blonde woman was driving through the Florida Everglades while on vacation. She wanted to take home a pair of genuine alligator shoes in the worst way, but was very reluctant to pay the high prices the local vendors were asking.

After becoming very frustrated with the attitude of one of the shopkeepers, the  young blonde declared, "Well then, maybe I’ll just go out and catch my own alligator and get a pair of shoes for free!"

The shopkeeper said with a sly smile, "Well little lady, why don’t you go on and give it a try?"

The blonde headed off to the swamp, determined to catch an alligator.

Later in the day, as the shopkeeper is driving home, he spots the same young woman standing waist deep in the murky water, shotgun in hand.

As he brings his car to a stop, he sees a huge 9-foot gator swimming rapidly toward her. With lightning reflexes, the blonde takes aim, shoots the creature and hauls it up onto the slippery bank.

Nearby were 7 more dead gators, all lying belly up.

The shopkeeper stood on the bank, watching in silent amazement.

The blonde struggles mightily and manages to flip the gator onto its back.

Rolling her eyes heavenward, she screams in frustration "DARN! THIS ONE’S BAREFOOT, TOO!!