Michael Moore spit takes caramelly nuggets; spurting Fiddle Faddle over his engorged belly and across the room landing on a landscape of crumpled plastic bags, smashed soda cans, and empty tubes of Cheese Whiz.
A white powdery mini donut slips from the sugary pasty agape mouth of Amy Schumer to it’s doom on the white dusted shag, halting her progression.
What was the cause of this latest round of derailed gluttony? The ultimate fat shaming. It was just announced that surgery for the obese is verboten.
I’m not kidding.
Okay, not here. Not yet. And not for Michael and Amy. They’re wealthy. They probably won’t notice nor care about the burden their sanctimonious actions inflicted on the rest of us. You may or may not be a little, um, corpulent, but I bet you know someone who is. And I bet you’d like them to get treatment if they need it. Well, that’s up in the air for the British, and I’m sure the larger statists there feel the Bern right about now.
The NHS will ban patients from surgery indefinitely unless they lose weight or quit smoking, under controversial plans drawn up in Hertfordshire…
In recent years, a number of areas have introduced delays for such patients – with some told operations will be put back for months, during which time they are expected to try to lose weight or stop smoking.
But the new rules, drawn up by clinical commissioning groups (CCGs) in Hertfordshire, say that obese patients “will not get non-urgent surgery until they reduce their weight” at all, unless the circumstances are exceptional.
The criteria also mean smokers will only be referred for operations if they have stopped smoking for at least eight weeks, with such patients breathalysed before referral.
Ooof! That’s gotta sting the smug socialist smoking at the pub after downing his fifth helping of Shepard’s Pie. “Whatta yea mean I need ta wait, I’ve got a carbuncle on my neck the size of Lancashire!”
Well, they asked for it and they were warned. You put government in charge of your health, you put government in charge of everything. Because everything can be argued affects your health. Not just ingestibles, either. It’s easy to imagine banning things like beer, wine, red meat, and snacks etc. But your health also can be extended everything else as well. Risky or unconventional behaviors like bad driving, sun tanning, various sports and activities. It can also stretch to things that on their face seem outside of the health regulator’s purview, but to a creative regulator trying to trim the fat and save money, well, anything’s game.
Loud music? Hurts your hearing. Government pays for your ear care. You can’t listen to loud music. So now music playing devices will be regulated to an “acceptable’ volume.
Watching television or video game? Too much screen time hurts your eyes. Government pays for your eye care. So television, computers, and other devices may only be viewed for the predetermined duration at which point they will automatically shut off. No exceptions.
Don’t want to exercise? Too bad. If you want health care, you must where this technological gizmo that monitors your activity and reports it to the Health Administration Monitoring Service daily. If you have too many “negative” reports, no treatment for you. Sorry, lazy pants. Go run, but only for the prescribed time. Any longer, and you’ll be in violation of the too much running regulation which will cancel your coverage.
What can stop them? Ultimately, nothing. The true meddling leftist control freaks simply need to employ a prolonged PR campaign to the gullible explaining that it’s essential that people do or don’t do A, B, or C. Cover the media with emotional pleas and anecdotes telling their story. Solicit university professors, administrators, and fools to perpetuate the myth to the young and dumb and voila– it’s doctrine. Do it for long enough and it’s no longer questioned. Don’t thinks this works? Millenials don’t think free speech is important and that it should be limited. Where do you think they got that asininity leftists dogma from? Right. The media, universities, and unthinking celebrities i.e., leftists and the dumb. Wait, until they’re in charge. Laugh it up, tubby. But they’re coming for your burgers. I’m not shaming you, the government is.